Judge — September 22, 1928 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

—— THIS ISA SAMPLE SCOTCHO- GRAM Se of seven. Can you make up one? FIRST PRIZE $500.00 1. This contest runs for sixteen weeks. It began August 4th and will close midnight, November 24th 2. The shortest and cleverest Scotcho- grams that say the most in the few- est words will receive the prizes. The. Editors of Junce will be the Judges. 3. Each week, beginning August 4th, several of the best Scotchograms will be printed. $5 apiece will be paid for these, and they will also be eligible for prizes the same as the ones not printed. 4. Contestants may submit as many Scotchograms as they wish. SCOTCHOGRAMS MUST SENT IN BY WEST ION WIRE. 6. DO NOT SEND SCOTCHO- GRAMS COLLECT THEY WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. JUDGE’S SCOTCHOGRAM CONTEST 8 WEEKS MORE ALL WORDS USED MUST BE AUTHEN- TIC SANCTUARY MUCH FORTY TIP IVORY FORMED ATLAS JOHN DOE 36 Main St. Translation. Thank you cery much for the tip. I've reformed at last. The idea of a Scotchogram is to send a wire with as few words as possible by the use of euphonious (or krazykrack) words as exemplified above. In this chogram (when translated) twelve words have been sent for the price $1,000.00 IN PRIZES FOR CLEVER SCOTCHOGRAMS SECOND PRIZE $200.00 THIRD PRIZE $100.00 FOURTH TO ELEVENTH PRIZES $25.00 EACH In addition Juvce will pay $5.00 apiece for each Scotchogeam printed during the course of the contest and these will also be eligible for prizes. In case two or more contestants submit the same prize winners, each will receive the prize. RULES OF CONTEST 7. Scotchograms can be sent by full rate Telegram, Day Letter, Night Message or Night Letter. Each wire must bear the name and ad- dress of the contestant. Foreign readers may send Scotchograms by cable. Address SCOTCH- GRAM, N.Y. When sendi more than one Scotchogram on the same blank separate them by the word “period.” 8. NO SCOTCHOGRAMS WILL BE RETURNED. 9. The winners will be announced in the December 22nd issue of Juvce and prize checks will be sent to the winners on that date. 10. Wire all Scotchograms to SCOTCHOGRAM EDITOR, Judge Publishing Co., Inc., 627 W. 43rd St, New York City. A Subway Siesta once upon a time a stranger decided to take the shuttle from the grand central station to the pennsylvz hotel and he went down a passageway marked sub- way and it didnt lead him to the biltmore lobby and he didnt end up in the yale club or the com- modore and he didnt get c fused and come out on 42 or lexington avenue or vander- bilt avenue or the top floor of grand central palace and he came to a stile and he had a nickel and when he inserted it in the slot it turned and nobody was trying to get through the grain and he emerg rinst ds with se and nd he followed some arrows and came to a_ train which had just’ pulled in’ and got a scat and nobody said hey mister is this the way to brook- Iyn and nobody stepped on his feet or read his paper and at times square he followed some arrows which led him to an ex- press which had just pulled in and it didnt take him uptown and he didnt look down and dis- cover that he was over the east river and nobody jumped in front of the train and committed suicide and delayed things and he could see just where he was from a map which he could un- derstand perfectly and he didnt end up at the battery or the bronx or de kalb avenue brook- lyn or back where he started from and he still has his pack- ages and. suitease and nobody stole his money and watch and everything and when the tra stopped he didnt fall on his neck and the door wasnt marked out of order and it opened and he got out before it clipped him on the car and instead of getting onto an uptown express and going to van courtland park he went down stairs and he didnt end up in the penn station or 33 street or 7th avenue or jamaica long island or an orangeade stand and no taxi drivers wanted to drive him to e hotel and he walked down a sageway and got on an cle- vator and when he got off where do you think he was I knew youd all say the pennsylvania hotel kids but this is just a fairy story and such a trip would of course be te, so I'll tell you he was right in his own bed and had just been dreaming. —Jack Cruetr ges and suite 26 comicbooks.com