Judge — September 22, 1928 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE One Martin Barnes, out for an innocent stroll of confronted by a strange nd commanded to enter a thy house. Once inside, he is introduced to none other than Lord Ardrington himself, in per- son, not a moving picture. His Lordship, unfortunately, is about | to kick-off, and rather than leave | his worldly goods to his ne’er-do- | well nephew, he has decided to hand it over to the first person that passes his house! And so, in our very first chapter, our hero is presented with the trifling sum of three hundred thousand dollars in an evening, is ne bills! Some people get all the breaks! This, gentle reader, is the opening chapter of “The For- tunate Wayfarer” by E. Phillips Oppenheim, and if you think it’s silly, just start it! You won't put it down until you've finished it! Mr. Oppenheim is my favorite story-teller. He has no axe to grind, he indulge in uganda nor esoteric persi- . and he knows nothing of the art of log-rolling. He just tells a darn good story! does not And how unlike him is Mr. Carl Van Vechten! In “Spider Boy,” which is announced as his gayest” novel, he puts a poor spineless right through the most ama dventures, both here and in Hollywood. It’s just so satirical and esoteri And at the end the wife of the poor playwright says, “You're going straight back to New York to write another pl Besides, I | want to meet George Gershwin and Jimmie Walker and Perey Hammond and Mencken and Al fred Lunt and Theodore Dreiser and Fred Astaire and Carl Van Vechten and Paul Robeson and Scott Fitzgerald and Gene Tun- ney!” Ye Gods, Carl! What have you against Heywood Broun and Walter Winchell and F. P. Adams and Alex Woollcott and Texas Guinan and Grover Whalen and Robert Garland and Harry Hirschfield and—Gosh, but they'll be sore! [ We are volume entitled “The grams of Oscar Wild down through automatic by Lazar... we ignorance writi as to what but after Ze is, across such gems as are the “Half the if: machinery? The Six Best Steppers “Good Boy" (Good Boy) “T Wanna Be Loved by You” (Good Boy) “Blue Shadows” (Vanities) “Once in a Lifetime” (Vaniti “Pickin’ C dals Give You Anything but Love" (Blackbirds) —Jupcrrte “Your point—” “piay it over in receipt of a small writing must confess automatic running “Platitudes Sundays of Stupidity.” world knows how the other half ought to. live” and “Beauty skins deep,” we wonder avthing went wrong with the “my ™ ste ® @" — Brown October (Ginger) Ale Up, my comrade, with our Let us drain them deep to- gether To the brown and burnished Asse To the ¢ To the wonder To her fleeey cloud flotillas, And remain sedately sober As we sip our sars-parillas! tumnal weather, October, Come, my crony, fill your flagon As our ditty nears its coda, Sit astride the water wagon With me, friend, imbibing soda. Let us drink to brown Octo! With an ale non-alcoholic, So no anti-liquor prober Can arrest us as we frolic! —Anrtier L. Tteemann Then there's the fleeing street | car conductor who tried to cover | up his tracks! | | re DOF —I'm sorry! comicbooks.com