Judge — September 22, 1928 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “Stand aside, woman! T’se on mah way to the three hundred and fifty-second semi-annual conclave and qatherence of the An- tiquated Order of Loyal and Diversified True-blue Ravens, of which organism ah am a sizty-seventh degree Mahoot, to say nothing at all of mah exalted and revered position and office as corresponding scribe and ex post facto protector and guardian of the sacred scrolls and parchment “My, my, nigger, what an impression youse goin’ to make when you deliver this here wash to my clients.” xo modern young people? Nothing doing! | | Noan—T How to Select Your Investments In selecting one’s investments during these modern times of big business and high finance there is nothing quite so important to the individual as selecting one’s in- vestments. It is just about as ir portant as the time when the busi- ness cycle was first discovered and it will be remembered that the business, or single, cycle was the immediate forerunner of the bi- cycle, more commonly known as the red-winged seagull, be they hibernate through the warm months and lay their eggs in the form of a cross. One of the basic principles in this process of picking stocks and bonds and other negotiable strin- gencies is dependent upon the in- terest rate ruling on short and long-term interest rates. This is more often called the law of ac- tion and reaction and was first dis- covered by Chuck Weeper, fourth under Sceretary to the assistant to the eighth vice-president of the Sharpshooters, Tanners, Farmers & Drovers National Bank of East Pecora, N. BL Weeper first employed the prin- ciple in measuring the inverse ra- tio between a debenture and a couple of par values and has never been heard from since. The law is considerably like the relation between 10 per cent. call money and a bag full of discounts, which will be more fully described in arlier articles, and is really noth- ing more than a mean ratio. In fact, it is one of the meanest ratios this side of Chicago and is almost impassable in wet weather. Well now, all of this illustrates why it is far better to buy bonds than stocks, or vice versa. Be- nybody knows that even 2 common bond is hard to k whereas there lot more fish in the sea and a rolling stone is worth two in s houses. So that, in the final analysis, it is not so much the interest rate on short term convertibles — that counts as it is the six per cent. gold debenture value inherent in bre: are An ex mple of this axiom is to be found in the recent issue of Coordinated Ear Brush Con- tainers Corporation, Inc., which EONS SFE ae ISD SL OnTE et rete meee Lean a . comicbooks.com