Judge — September 8, 1928 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a letter from the circulation man- ager of the Times! What rot! And such a cocky flat statement! ——~ ~*~ Cuavurrevr—Are you Mrs. Wil How did you know? —Mr. Wilkinson gave me a good description of Lapy— Cravurre you, ma’am! High Hat (Continued from page 11) I glance through the Cosmo- politan and my eye falls, or may- he I should say, pounces, upon an article called “A Worm Turns” by one O. O. McIntyre. Well, sir, it seems that, when Mr. Me- Intyre first came to New York, he was an awful hick and scared to call his soul his own. Well, sir, in the years that he has been com- ing here that has all disappeared, he’s found out that New York is no different from Hohokus, and that he’s now a regular New Yorker! And in the réle of “reg ular New Yorker” this is what O. O. does now. These own words: “When I visit a box office man now it is all so differ- ent.” Can you imagine a regular New Yorker wasting his time go- re his nson’s mother, madam? —Passinc Suow ing to a box office? “I always make a head waiter show me four or five tables and grudgingly take the set.” Heh, heh! “If a waiter is a minute overdue with the soup, I inquire sarcastically if he found everything all right) at home.” “When [ask a barber for a sh he knows I mean a shave I wonder where Odd got his ideas on regular New Yorkers? He must have been hanging around Alice Foote McDougal’s again! In the September Mercury, H. L. Mencken shows signs of going McIntyre. Like most writers who side of New York and try to write of New York, tl times forget that the ld do ch . In his edito Mr. Mencken states that “The Times (New York) is read by all Ameri- cans who pretend to any opu- lence.” Mencky must have gotten some- subway out the Times readers! periodical, The Mencky should take a ride in the some morning and pick That just awfully anti-Babbitt New Yorker, ca ries a just awfully anti-Babbitt showing America filled. to overflowing with nothing but orange drink stands, gas stations, Eat Yeast” and “Not a Cough in a Carload” signs . . . in this same issue we also find full-page ads advertising Tydol gas. Fleischmann’s yeast and Old Gold cigarettes, With such things going on, it’s high time for me to be getting back to earth, so I let the old bed glide slowly down and soon T hear the familiar sound of type- writers. Crap—erap, crap, crap, crap—crap—crap! Editor's Note—Judge Jr. has been confined to his bed with a high fever for the past two days. The Maid (at the telephone)— Oh, mum, do come home. I've mixed up the terminuses. The radio is all covered with frost and the electric refrigerator is singing “Constantinople —Liverroot Express “Te plexi¢ dac’s child is fair of face —Evenvnopy’s WrekLy cream helps. the com- says a doctor. Sun- Translations of the Scotchograms Appearing in this Issue at once baby ate a button won't die as’ the doctor got Sce if you ean ch up with those men who did us dirty. PAGE 3 Si and T would like to come see you all ean the date be set soon. PAGE 3 Mary's dough not lost found it in her Aunt'’s room. PAGE 5 Goi be th PAGE 26 Will you marry me at once, * to Maine for an outing may for more than a month, EUW ARD LANGER PRINTING CO., INC., JaMalCa, NY comicbooks.com