Judge — August 11, 1928 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ah : | JUDGE SEX AND THE SEA GOD A Frothy Novelette by Dr. It was dawn when Babe Ruth tiptoed his way into the Russian ward of the Bide-a-Wee Mater nity Hosp It was his custom to come there every dawn to auto- yh baseball bats for the new- horn boys, so that they would grow up to be good citizens. By the time he had reached the last cot on this particular morning, he had autographed five dozen Louis- ville Sluggers, a gross of fielders’ mitts, two pop bottles and a catcher’s mask. ‘The infant in the last bed he could not see, but fre beneath the sheets there cam dy, mournful sobbing. Don't ery, my little man,” at-hearted athlete, “PH autograph your. —— —— hat.” “Bat, hell! vomed a voice like the bellowing sea, and much to said the gr the Babe's nonplussion, an unex pected head popped forth! — It was not the dome of a rosy little infant; it was the white-whis- kered conk o bronzed old of a dainty st, he wore 1 battered and mossy brass crown. On the end of his schnabel was a barnacle. At this point an interne stepped up. “Mr. Ruth,” he said, “shake rd-and sun nd instead Seuss nds wit Mr. Neptune... the god, you know. He was brought here last night after a very unfortunate dent in the Hudson, where he was rammed by the ferry-boat Weehawken And pl begged Nep tune, “keep it a seeret. The one thing that [ dread in the world is publicity.” But the secret had already leaked out. The door of the ward was suddenly burst open and. in rushed a wolf pack of howli porters. Leading them by several lengths was Grover Whalen. “Mr. Neptune! he panted, “in the name of the city, T present you with the keys to the Aquarium.” But Neptune was ge Nude as he was, the terrified man had taken to the fire-cseape. Through the tangled downtown streets the fren god raced, a hundred yelling re fore Tsen porters sprinting in the wake of his floating beard. It was on the top of the Woolworth Tower that the poor man was finally cor nered. “Come on, you old sea fox,” coaxed a representative of a ta loid. The public wants a red-hot what was the gres onfession, Tellus . est temptation “She cooed to me.” 4 ouey WEL row ¥ RiGuT ! “An unfortunate accident on the Hudson.” of your innermost: private lite?” Neptune blushed indignantly. No stalling, you old repro! he was warned. “Come nand make it dirty.” ceing no possible way out of it, Neptune gave in ell” he srowl “it-all took place a few years b middle . right in the plumb f the Mediterranean Si Twas on my way home, having just completed a three months’ in spection tour of the Associated Homes for Aged and) Pensioned Mermaids. And let me tell you I was pretty well fed up, for all this time [had not once laid eyes on a mermaid un r eighty was a miserable, rainy day, hour after hour [ trotted sullenty ng on sea-horseback through the drizzle and mist. Beauty and warmth, that’s what my soul craved . when suddenly it got it. Unexpectedly, the sun burst forth through the clouds, and as the fog dispelled T saw, not a clam shell’s throw al ad =a nd lovely mermaid! “Seductively she lounged on the verandah of her cosy one-rock apartment. Her lips were red and ger lik snapping turtle’s. She had been cating oysters, and her mouth was still chock full of pearls, which sparkled mise ously when she smiled. A young wild thing with sea-green hair she was, just the kind of a mermaid the boys like to take on a sle ride. And there we were : alone in the middle of th sea! (The sea god's reticence rories.) 25) (Continued on page comicbooks.com