Judge — August 4, 1928 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The size everyone's hand seems to the sunburned gent. High Hat (Continued from page 11) you one that you can drink thing that's made three-quar- ters corn, one-quarter apricot cor- dial, lemon juice yours truly.” Confessions of a Man About Town—No. 1 Beautiful bag (girl) coming to town, and I wanted to make big impression. Decided to take bas to St. Regis roof—got all washed up and drove her in my costly roadster down to Fifty-fourth Street and Fifth Avenue—entered hotel nonchalantly and said to clevator boy, “The roof, please.” Dumb elevator boy lets us off at twelfth floor—wait ten minutes in hotel corridor until dumb elevator boy returns—give dumb elevator boy hell for letting us off at wrong floor and say very severely, “The roof, please!’ Dumb clevator boy takes us up to empty roof— look at dumb elevator boy dumbly this is the Gotham ho Exit sheepishly—go across the street to the St. Re; arrive at the roof garden—frozen-faced head-waiter, w ground of Frozen- faced away—slink dows stairs and eat at Rubens! An Open Letter to Vincent Lopez Dear Mr. Lopez: I wish you'd tell your head- riter what a nice young fellow nand that I've really got some f they're not paid and that a Brooks suit often covers a heart of gold, and not to be fooled by a. stiff shirt. Please tell him that if he lets me in some time, I'll promise not to (1) spill drinks, (2) beat time on the dishes, (3) fall over backwards in my chair, (4) knock William Randolph Hearst, (5) dinner clothes (eve ir), try to dance, (6) cut in. Please tell him also that he y should use a little disere that all people in dinner clothes don't come from the best families; that sometimes the best people go about in mufti (he probably won't know what that means, so you ex- plain it to him), and that in using such discretion he would her in a much nicer crowd. Cordially (ha, ha!), Juper, Jr. P.S.—I fooled him and sneaked in one night when I was all dressed up like a gentleman, so tell, Joseph Urban I think his ion; ond thought, maybe you'd better not s thing to the head-waiter T don’t think I'll be up age ee “Porter, why haven't you brought my lu here, "the train is just going he luggage is all right, sir, it is you who are in the wrong train, en Zeiten, Cologne Wife on telephone (disguising her voice )—Guess who this is? Husband—It's—um— Wife (furiously )—Edn Husband (disguising his ve ss who this is! —Tit-Brrs 1c) Antist—I learnt drawing by mail. Ant Evtron—IVell, what are you going to do about it? Sue the Post Office? —Passine Siow _| EDWARD LANGER PRINTING CO., INC., JAMAICA, . 7. comicbooks.com