Judge, 1928-08-04 · page 16 of 36
Judge — August 4, 1928 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This article satirizes a taxi driver named "stuttering Joe Wheelbase" who has discovered an ingenious—if unethical—scheme to increase fares. By deliberately stuttering during rides, Joe causes the meter to run longer while passengers wait for him to finish sentences. His stutter, once seen as a career liability, becomes profitable. The satire mocks both Joe's dishonesty and the broader economic system. The piece notes Joe earns 10-15% more than fellow drivers and is now organizing a "stuttering school" to teach other taxi drivers this trick. The humor targets taxi drivers' reputation for overcharging passengers, the absurdity of monetizing a speech impediment, and the era's anxieties about labor organizing and self-improvement schemes. The title "Taxicapitalist" puns on capitalism itself, suggesting exploitation masquerading as enterprise.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE reached our destination and I | stepped out. “How much, Joe?” | I asked. “Ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni—”” started Joe. CLICK! went the meter. | “A doll-adoll -adoll-adoll-a | doll—" continued Joc. CLICK! went the meter. I permitted him no further halting symphonies but glanced ok” “It just isn’t Cricket.” The Taxicapitalist Meet my friend, stuttering Joe Wheel Joe is a graduate of the Nort! Ar n. Taxicab {i | Drivers’ Unive nd a charter | member of the ke’s Coffee Pot Social and Dunking Club. Despite his complete indifference | to ly Post's social mandates, Joe has risen high in the taxi world, and his daily income ex- eceds that of his fellow gasoline s by more than ten to fifteen per cent net, before de- ducting costs of doing business. at the clock. During Joe's stut- tering it had advanced from ninety cents to a dollar and ten! And there, in a nutshell, i: secret of Joe’s success. these lines are being written, Joc | is organizing a stuttering school | for taxi drivers, and under his in- spired leadership the earnings of his fellow wagoneers should forge ahead to peaks never dreamed of by these gentle, un- derpaid and ubiquitous public servants, —Antuur L, Lippmann —Good shot, old man! I didn’t think you'd make it. Joe's tongue is like a piece of slippery elm. It takes him ten minutes to shift his convers | into low speed. When he was a little boy the senior Wheelbase, a prominent and well-regarded free lunch imbiber, was greatly con- cerned about the boy's verbal handicap. I'm worried about that brat,” said Dr. Wheelbase, selecting a choice morsel of lami, “I don’t see what carcer | ahead of a chronic stutterer ex- | cept maybe a radio or train an- nouncer.” But how futile were the doting parent's fears, how Historic Spots—Greenwicu, Connecticut useless his paternal concern! Host—Here’s where General Israel Putnam made his leap Today I rode in Joe’s cab. We for life. comicbooks.com