Judge — June 16, 1928 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

/r stiff.lame,sore muscles At all DRUGGISTS $425 Send for free tial bottle W.F.YOUNG. Inc. Springfield, Mass Courts, course or club-house... Berore you start out, put your hair . } 1" } If you ea your favorite drug store, depart- ment store or barber shop, send fifty cents for a full-size bottle to f Glo-Co Company, 6511 MeKinley Avenue, Los Angeles, € price in Canada, 10 MeCs ‘oronto. GLO-CO It LIQUID HAIR DRESSING As necessary as the morning shave gy fq Always insist upon having 93 ABBOTT'S Tonic Appetizer Forse vers BITTERS RD carats T eotain, P ter Pow ay say Tue Lorry Driver How Was I to Know? We were at the Armstrongs. The party had been proceeding merrily until Jimmy (“Groucho”) Jones came in, nursing, as usual, a grudge ast the world. When the owd noticed — his gloomy face all the good-natured banter ceased, and the pep left the party. My chance had come! Without a moment's hesitation I stepped up and rendered “Cohen on the Telephone.” All eyes. turned towards me admiringly. “Why, Arthur,” the folks gasped, “we didn't know you were an entertainer. You're better than Al Jolson.” T hung my head modestly. But Jones’ face never relaxed, though most of the crowd stitches. With perfect case I recited “Perey at the Ball G and followed it with my sure-fire bit “Kid McGuffy Tells a Bed Time S My fri —were were in -pting Jones We didn't know it was in you,” they chor- amaze used, grouping about me. ‘Then I told them of that ful day when [had purchased a copy of “How to Be the Life of the Party” by Shelley K. Bartho- lemew. I described the studious evenings devoted to a carcful perusal of its pages, how I had Well, ’ow could I see yer? yer buy the other skate and run abaht the pavement! Why don’t ‘TATLER. memorized the recitations and practiced the stunts while other chaps were wasting their time with the sporting pa But Jones was unmo' d. Fin- ally I determined to try my wow. I rolled up my sleeves like a professional magician and ap- proached him. few deft passes in the air and I produced a rabbit from his tuxedo pocket and a mouth. The crowd, hilarious with laugh I bowed. ladies’ chemise from his ter, applauded. As I did so Jones se and brought it down on my head with his full strength. A week later, when the doctor permitted me to sit up for the first time, I read a note that had come to the hospital for me from Jones. It said: Dear side-splitting comedian: I trust the blow fractured your funny-bone and flattened your bump. of Your ; bore me. Your orations irr! They are old stuff. I also ts this opportunity to inform you that my pen name is Shelley K. Bartholemew and I am the gifted author of that best seller “How to Be the Life of the Party.” Yours for Bigger and Better Grouches, Jimmy (“Groucho”) Jon —Artucer L. Lipps conceit. rs comicbooks.com