Judge — February 25, 1928 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

break a cold harmlessly and in a@ try a Bayer Aspirin tablet. And for ent, too, in cases of neural, even rheumatism nd dumb: there's no after effect; de pirin to children—often infa ever there's pain, think of Aspirii venuine Bayer Aspirin has Bayer on the | lox and on every tablet. All druggists, with proven directions Physicians prescribe Bayer Aspirin; | it does NOT affect the heart is the trade mark of Mon { Rayer Manufacture LipAte The ey p a Student Tours. Chartered cd entertainment: Ee cagenial associat 30; cts for literature. co > write Students Travel Svox: 2a & S52 Get a Copy Quick? Improve Your Game! AUCTION BRIDGE SIDELIGHTS By RL E. Nexpuam of The Auction Bridge Magazine, New! Important! Latest on the Conventions, Over-Bidding, when to break a Rule, etc. Price $2.00. (Postpaid $2.10.) HAROLD VINAL, Ltd., Publishers, 562 Fifth Ave. New York Stand in the rain in front of the Paramount or Roxy, while your neigh- bor pokes you in the ribs with his um- brella or chews gum in your ear, but don’t venture inside a little movie the- atre in New York City; listen to the cathedral of the movies’ hundred and ninety-piece orchestra play “Yes, Sir, She's My Baby” with hand saw obli- gato, but lay off the little theatre. As sure you go, you're going to see “The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari,” and if after reading this article you are not fed up with simply hearing about this ancient work, you deserve nothing bet- ter than to go to a little movie house and have fun. The Perfect Movie Theatre There will be no marble nudes in the outer lobby and the patron will receive his aesthetic kick without the aid of gold fish bowls and 16th Cen- tury Flemish tapestries. Ushers will be selected for their utility, irrespec- tive of bowed legs, hooked noses or bald heads. The orchestra will never render a Hungarian Rhapsody nor will the conductor make a solo entrance in the glare of the spotlight. Weekly hair- cuts will be required of all musicians. and the first violinist will play “Kiss Me Again” without sporting a black velvet jacket and flowing bow tie. The members of the audience will not be asked to lift their voices in chorus when Auld Lang Syne, illus- | trated, is flashed on the screen. No toe dancers, personality jazz band leaders or male quartets will pre- cede the feature. There will be no scenes in which toys come to life at midnight, and of the two-hour program at least one hour and forty-five min- | utes will be devoted to the showing of motion pictures. All news reel sections showing babies fraternalizing with puppies, firemen fighting flames in zero weather, China- men in false faces cavorting on holidays, Mrs. Coolidge, reading to disabled war veterans and French mannequins showing styles for ‘“Mi- lady” will be deleted. In the interests of Bigger and Better Necking, the rear of the orchestra will be kept dark and patrons will be per- mitted to snooze whenever they wish without being awakened by officious young Napoleons. Muzzles will be provided for people who read titles aloud. —Artuur L. Lippaann at The newest proof of Statler thoughtfulness Overenight or over-Sunday in a strange city — nowhere to do— most ap- to go— nothing that’s when y preciate this newest Statlee ¢ you lounge com= fortably in) your Statler ed programs, with su- perlative reception, always available. And there’s no charge for this entertain- ment. Plan your trip to be in a Statler over Sunday. You're sure ofa pleasant week-end. Lrodatin There are Hetels Statler with comicbooks.com