Judge, 1928-01-28 · page 12 of 36
Judge — January 28, 1928 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "How I Spied on General Grant in '61" This is a satirical piece by "Dr. Theophrastus Seuss" (clearly a pseudonym playing on the famous children's author), published in *Judge* magazine as Civil War nostalgia humor. The joke centers on an absurdly melodramatic first-person account: a narrator claims that on his third birthday during the Civil War, his father abandoned him to become General Grant's Staff Adjutant—leaving a letter instead of a birthday present. The narrator responds by lying about his age to join the Confederate Secret Service and spy on Grant, framing it as "Son Against Father." The cartoon illustrations depict period Civil War scenes in exaggerated, comedic style. The satire mocks both overly sentimental Civil War memoirs (which were popular) and the ridiculousness of the conflict itself—treating grave historical events with theatrical absurdity. The bottom cartoon's caption ("All right, boss, I'll stop it for you") suggests comic incompetence during wartime. This appears to be humorous nostalgic commentary rather than serious political argument.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE HOW I SPIED ON GENERAL GRANT IN ’61 By Dr. THEOPHRASTUS SEUSS Now that the Civil War is and harsh are be= to die story ginning down, I fe that my ly be Prior to the terrible con- flict between the Blue and the Gray, our fam- ily was very and very cultured and we lived together on rich our huge cotton plantation in -ouisian, My r’s name also Dr. Theophrastus Seuss, but at that time he was never confused with me, as I was only three years old and had not as yet taken my degree at the university. My three short years of in- fancy were heavenly. I have a fond recollection of sitting in the patio and watching my father through binoculars as he rode through the sunny orchards on a large white palfrey, superintend- ing the gathering in of the sheaves. But then came the dark was Tuovantren Lanoren—All right, boss, cloud of warfare which rumbled o'er the nation, blighting lives with its cruel steel cleats! It happened on the morning of my third birthday. Unconscious of impending tragedy, 1 rose carly and eagerly looked into the stock- ing I had hung up for presents the night before. Imagine my surprise when I found the stock- ing was gone! In its place was a letter, addressed to me in the hasty handwriting of my fathe “Dear Sonny,” it read. d terday I received awire from Gen. Grant asking me to be his Staff Adjutant. This is better than I can do in_ the Southern army, so I have left for Washington on the 4. K ing your stocking with me as a keepsake. Love, Papa. P. S. — Take good care of your mother and grandmother.” For a moment Iwas plused. threw little shoulders and s upon them the burdens of Man- hood. That very afternoon I lied about my to a recruiting officer and was made a member of the Confederate Secret Ser- vice. It was another grim case of Son Against Father, but duty called me and I went! I was immediately detailed to go behind the enemy's lines and steal some plans that Grant was said to be (Continued on page non- Then I I'll stop it for you. 0 comicbooks.com