Judge — January 7, 1928 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a were | a ee ae JUDGE after and brought up two chil- dren do did NOT name them Marvin and Lois. They did NOT send them to the Country Day School, because the kiddies went to work when they were fourteen, When Izzy's grand- paw shook bye-bye and left him a half million seeds in the will, they did NOT move immediately to Park Avenue and they STILL subscribed to the iterary Digest” instead of the “New Yorker.” And when the angel Gabriel finally served) his) summons he found he had to take a subway ride to the end of the line and walk four blocks. There was NO marquee in front of the house and NO dignified smoke in gold cord and buttons in’ the lobby. He had to walk up five flights and NOBODY but Mrs. W. herself answered the door. The newspapers » them a line apiece and. their neighbors gave them the berry and called them tight. And if you go out to visit them, you will find that their children have honored them with a twenty-foot tower of streaked red marble ornamented with cupids and wreaths and en- graved) with hand-made — senti- ments from the Elks’ Magazine. —Penetman Just the Man “He's here, sir.” whispered the clerk to Mr. J. Kenneth Pushem, General’ Manager of the Greater “Why did they throw you out of that place, Osbert?” “It's a vegetarian restaurant, and I ordered animal crackers!" | The ideal heavyweight champ. YOUNG 14, . T IS Now PERMIT ys -JOW ELEVEN OF Tae! T U5 TO Reminn ve c INGERS OF (ie HOURS THIRTYT EN fey City Trolley and Subway Lines. “He's been on the way for weeks.” “Show him in,” said — the doughty exceuti In a few moments he was shaking hands with Patterson Hoff the greatest physicist of his . the man who had been honored around the globe. “Professor Hoffmeyer,” said Pushem, “they tell me that you have been able to accomplish a ut defying every fundamental law of physics—that you have been able to add water to a vessel already full.” Hoffmeyer smiled depre- catingly. Going over to Mr. Pushem's desk, he filled a tum- | Dler from the latter's decanter. | When the glass was brimming he continued to add water and—lo —it did not run over! “Marvelous! Wonderful!” shouted Mr. Pushem. “Hang up your hat and coat. The job salary of fifty thou- sand a ri” “But what will my duties t questioned the savant who had astonished the scientific world by crowding four hundred apples into a barrel already filled to the top. “Very simple for you.” an swered Mr. Pushem. “You are to design new cars for our sub- and trolley. lines.” Avner TL. Lireaaxs wa comicbooks.com —