Judge, 1927-12-31 · page 35 of 37
Judge — December 31, 1927 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mocks the American tradition of making New Year's resolutions—promises people make annually but rarely keep. Judge satirizes the hypocrisy by presenting a checklist of self-improvement vows that are either contradictory or obviously insincere. The humor lies in resolutions like "Work hard and like my job" alongside "Never use the car, unless the family insists" and "Forage alcohol in all its variety"—which immediately gets undercut by the exception "except during week-ends, holidays, ceremonies, etc." The final item, "Subscribe to JUDGE," is the punchline: the entire list is framed as something to "file safely away with marriage licenses, insurance policies, wall mottoes, diplomas"—documents people keep but ignore. The satire suggests Americans make grand moral promises annually that have no real staying power, especially concerning alcohol (Prohibition was still in effect in 1928). The subscription pitch at the bottom cynically transforms moral self-improvement into a sales pitch for the magazine itself.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Jowes “Tre HE solemn echo of “I promise” booms throughout the nation, and morality reaches the annual high of a bull market. For the conven- ience of our reforming and resolving patrons, we submit this list, which may be easily checked and then filed safely away with marriage licenses, insurance policies, wall mottoes, diplomas, and your other household doo- dads. I, the undersigned, for no good reason, resolve for 1928, to: CO Work hard and like my job, i CO Forego alcohol, except during any. veek-ends, holidays, ceremonies, Respect my superiors, ditto. [] Sleep ten hours each night, i Never retell a story more than possible. ten times. Sleep ten hours. Learn two verses of the Star Never use the car, unless the Spangled Banner. family insists Stay in this country and sneer Laugh heartily at repair bills. at Europeans. Refrain from profanity, except when compulsory (parties, ste- . nographer, ete.). Doubt everything, but to be irritated at nothing. Take lessons in sneering. Forego alcohol in all its variety of forms. Subscribe to JUDGE. Sincerely, Name Address. City State P. S. Enclosed is 1 $7.80 for 2 years OD $2.00 for 21 weeks ($5.00 for 1 year comicbooks.com