Judge — July 2, 1927 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

x MACKINAC ISLAND NIAGARA FALLS ny CHICAGO DETROIT CLEVELAND BUFFALO (Cissces on the swiftest and most lux- urious steamers on the Great Lakes; see MACKINAC ISLAND, “The Sum- mer Wonderland” with its historic points of interest, and marvelous climate; fish at “TheSnows’ near Mackinac. Riding,swim- ming, tennis and every outdoorrecreation. All these are included in a D & C lake tour. Stop over as long as you like at any port. Good Times Aboard Radio and movies on Buffalo and Mack- inac divisions; also dancing, with hostess in charge, bridge, teas, golf and deck games on the Mackinac Division boats. Tickets on this division limited to sleeping ac- commodations. Overnight Service between Cleveland and Detroit; between Buffalo and Niagara Falls and Detroit; and between Detroit or Chicago and Mackinac Island. Also daylight trips between Cleve- land and Detroit during July and August. ROUND TRIP FARES CHICAGO and DETROIT MACKINAC ISLAND and CHICAGO or DETROIT. BUFFALO and CHICAGO... C.evetanp and Detrorr $3.50 * 6.00 Berth and meals extra Burravo ana Detrorr.... $6.00 $11.00 Berth and meals extra No Surcharge Make Reservations Now! For further information, address E. H. McCracken, Gen. Pass. Agt. Dept. 23 at Detroit, Mich. DETROIT & CLEVELAND NAVIGATION COMPANY Tovurtst—Do you get much in the way of motor traffic down here? Vintage Anctent—No, sir, of wouldn’t be turned eighty-four if oi did! The Fable of the Debt of Gratitude Once upon a time there was a Poor Bookkeeper who never looked at the Time Clock and whose Trial Balances were simply perfect. But this hard- working Keeper of the A to M ledgers wasn’t getting anywhere at all and, naturally, this was a Great Disappointment to - his Trusting Wife. One day a Bimbo named Joe said to the Bookkeeper whose name was Albert, “I got a Sure Tip on Amalgamated Tin. It’s good for a twenty point raise. Get wise to yourself, Silly.” So Albert took all of his Hard- earned Money out of the Butch- ers’, Bakers’ and Candlestick Makers’ Savings Bank and bought himself a hundred shares of Amalgamated Tin. Came the Winter and the stock hadn't gone up more than a point, so Albert finally sold it. After paying In- terest on his Debit Balance and brokerage, his Flyer showed him the handsome Net Profit of Kighteen Bucks. A week later Joe breezed in. “Couldja let me have twenty-five smackers for a couple of weeks?” he asked Albert, who wasn’t Ter- ribly Enthusiastic about the Idea but who felt he owed a Debt of Gratitude to his Philanthropic Friend. Albert swallowed hard and slipped Joe two tens and a five. Passed another week and Joe extracted fifteen more berries from the Poor Bookkeeper, who felt he owed it to his Magnani- mous Friend to Come Across. —Hemonisr This Lovely Condition of Affairs kept up for about six months and then one day Albert socked his Boon Companion on the jaw and a Beautiful Friendship came to an Untimely End, with Albert in the hole to the tune of Seventy- Five Dollars. After this Disastrous Dabbling in Wall Street, Albert hunched his back even more intently over the A to M ledgers and the sleeves of his black alpaca coat grew a little more shiny. Then one day another friend of his named Reginald came over and whispered into Albert’s Good Ear, “Got a Hot Tip on Feder- ated Firecrackers Preferred—it’s good for twenty points.” At this juncture the Outraged Oaf could stand it no longer and, climbing down off his stool, he delivered himself of an Impas- sioned Oration touching upon Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing who gypped Poor Bookkeepers. When he had completed his tirade, Reginald turned pale and Went Out Into the Dusk. The next evening Albert turned to the Financial Page and read that Federated Firecrackers Pre- ferred had jumped twenty points over night! Up to the time of Going to Press he was still standing on Main Street kicking himself vig- orously and repeatedly in that section of the anatomy usually favored with such Painful and Undeserved Treatment. Moral: You Can’t Always Tell Applesauce by the Smell. —Arruur L. Lippmann comicbooks.com