Judge — June 25, 1927 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Amazing ! S I didn’t have a bean, I walked. Presently I came to a bend in the road, and round the bend in the road I discovered, first, Muggi mmoth Maze Admission Twopence, and then an orchard. As I didn’t have a bean I had to pass Muggin’s Mammoth Admission Twopence. As I didn’t have a k I stopped in front of the orchard. I was be- coming pretty hungry. It was a fairly high fence. As a matter of fact, it took me three or four minutes to reach the top. And just as I reached the top an old, old man with a most fero- cious look on his dashed out of Muggin’s Mammoth Maze Ad- mission Twopence and shouted: “Oi!” “Speaking to me?” said I. “Come down!” shouted the old, old man. So I came down. “You was goin’ for to steal them apples!” said the old, old man. “What about it aid I “Don't!” said he. “Be warned while there is yet time!” I gaped at him. “I see no crime in lifting a couple of apples,” said I. “You have not heard the ter- rible story of the little boy who stole an apple off them trees,” said the old, old man. “TI have not,” said I. A spasm of most intense venom assed over the old, old man’s ace; a look of unutterable hatred; and I was glad that just in time I had been prevented from stealing his apples. I was young, and most of my life was before me. I would have hated to have fallen into his clutches, a thief. “Well?” said I. His brows knit in a mighty frown, his hands clenched and unclenched, he hissed and sissed like a dragon. After a moment or two, growing calmer, he was able to s: boy he was reckoned a air divil in these parts. There was nothing that could be done that he didn’t have a try at; and one day he had a try at pinchin’ them apples. He ups and over the fence and he’s just reaching out and grabbing the j t apple on the best branch when out pops the rightful owner. ““Oi!’ says the rightful owner. ‘Come down!’ “And of course the little boy, ’e come down, an’ the rightful owner, ’e chase the little boy. He chase ‘im right into this hat little boy, ’ a goer. He reckoned that once he got in- side the maze he’d be able to shake off the rightful owner, be- cause the rightful owner wouldn’t be able to find his way about in that there maze. Who can? And the little boy was right. After a bit the rightful owner loses his nd he never found the little 1e look of intense loathing crept over the old, old man’s face once more. s LOIS YOU'ARE RUINING. ME WITH YOUR EXTRAVAGANCE | dered the little boy if he had found him. happened to him?” old, old man. not tell ye. Mebbe he died many, many y ful owner. with a bitter sigh. “No. little boy. way out!” I was sure he would have mur- “Well, go on,” said I, “What “The rightful owner?” said the “Ah, that I can- ago. Mebbe his body never recovered.” “T thought you were the right- id I. said the old, old man, I'm the I've just found my —Will Scott in Passtnc Suow os eee HE/EXCLAMMED BITTERLY | Now here is a risky joke a drummer told me which he heard the last meeting of the Purity League, so cleave to it, brother, cleave to it. A gent went into a dirty spoon recently and sat down at a table. “What you got?” he asked the waiter. “Well,” said Bones, “I got calf’s liver, pigs’ feet, frogs’ legs “Hey!” interrupted the impatient gourmand, “I asked for a | menu, not a description of yourself, you egg-smear you!” Any- body who gets a laugh out of this one must be a sadist. EDWARD LANGER PRINTING CO., INO., JAMAICA, N. 7. 4 rf 4 3 comicbooks.com