Judge — March 12, 1927 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

we we 738504 mar-9'21 ' ©cis Popular Mechanics Number of Judge WRITTEN SO YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND IT MARCH 12, 1927 THE HANDY GIRL AROUND THE HOUSE HOW TO MAKE Y girl who is clever with her hands or feet can A easily make a sugar papa. This handy article around the house can always be used for a variety of purposes and a good deal of innocent fun as well as profit can be had from him. There are two kinds of sugar papas (1) Big wash-tub manufactur- ers, and (2) Big millinery men, These two classes are just in from Fort Wayne, where they are big shots but too well-known to shake a loose ankle with the gals. Consequently they propose to dye the hamlet a rich magenta by next Friday night before rolling into the Buffalo sleeper. The best place to start making a sugar papa is at ringside in any good night-club about twelve-thirty. The general procedure is as follows: gaze around the tables, The girl should taking careful note of the more cligible papas. A safe rule to follow in selecting one’s quarry is, the fatter the papa, the fatter the bankroll. After our girl has satisfied herself that she sees her proper choice, she should give him the dazzling orbs ior several moments, and then look away quickly. moment later she may look back and then break into the full thirty-two-tooth spread of welcome. In five minutes the papa will be planted at her table trying to foree down another cocktail. In ten minutes papa will be retailing the wise one about the taxidermist which he got off at the Lions clambake last summer, and in fifteen minutes he will be making a date for tomorrow afternoon in front of Car- tier’s. More important than mak- ing a sugar papa is keeping him clean once you have made him. There are sev- eral good methods. If the day is cold, our girl may al- low her teeth to chatter and then very casually pull the one about the semi-annual fur sales they are having. \ little baby talk may be used, and a judicious kiss on the bald spot now and then. One’s oldest hosiery should be worn when meeting papa for the second time, and when he notices all the runs, v little catch in the voice and couple of Grade A tears A SUGAR PAPA will usually bring around a dozen pairs of serviceable stockings. Whenever papa gets dirty, he should be cleaned thoroughly at once. With good care one may train a papa to become very devoted and faithful; after a time he will speak only when spoken to and will follow you around with his fountain pen in his hand ready to dash off the checks. There are all sorts of games one may play with her papa, dependit x on his disposition. If it is and papa’s spirits arc low, one of the best 1ake-Down.” ames ‘ This is played as follows: Our ¢ pulls the racket about needing a new pair of f shoes and my word, how do you expect a girl to walk up Madison Avenue in her stocking feet. Papa growls and says he’s been shelling out too long and he’s tired of being the fall guy. Then our girl smiles sweetly and says maybe if she wrote a letter to somebody's wife out in Fort Wayne . . . Beige lizard kicks are being worn a good deal this season, although gray and black shark- skin with mottled green inserts is considered chic. Another hot pastime is ‘“Reproaches.” This is also a game for papa’s low days; he will generally begin with the wild surmise that our girl cares only for his money. This is the signal for her to throw he rms around daddy and start reproaching. “Why, Elmer, you little funny, you know I’d care just as much for you if you didn’t have a dime!” And then, a moment later, “But you really have some left, haven't you, darling?” This is a strong, serviceable line and bears repetition. A few sniffs and the good old Damp Hand- kerchief Dabbing at the goes bi: And ‘finally, a little note on letters. Your duty to your- self, the tabloids, and the District Attorney demands that you guard papa’s letters very carefully. For who knows when papa’s devotion will cool and there will be no more benzine in your cigarette lighter? Even if you never use the letters, they make rich reading to the next one. PERELMAN Giant Gafloocus-ray tube; it produces 2000 times as many cocktails as all the re- claimed bartenders in ex- istence, kills bill-collectors, and stuns roaches JUDGE, Volume 92. No. 2367. March 12, 1927, 1879. " Additional entr; at Jam 1, N. 1927, by them in the U. S. and t Britai Asa't Secretary; William Morris Houghton, a year. ‘Douglas H Cooke, Pr retary, 627 West 43rd St. in JunGE is protected under ti For advertising rates address ER: Crowe & Company, provisions of Sec inc., New York: Entered as Second-Class Matter, October 21, 1881, at the Post-Office at New Vork City, N. V., under Act of March 3. 5.00 Sea copy Published Weekly by 1 ¥ endal New York, anning, 'Y.. Particular attention is n 3 of the Copyright L 25 Vanderbilt Aves 1 comicbooks.com