Judge, 1927-03-05 · page 27 of 34
Judge — March 5, 1927 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising and humor page** from Judge magazine (likely 1920s-30s based on style). The main content is a **Smith Brothers Cough Drops advertisement** featuring a cartoon of a man being struck by a car with the caption "Not quite bright—HE SCORNS PROTECTION," arguing that throat protection is essential health insurance. The page also contains **short humor pieces and one-liners**: - **"Motorgrams"**: Satirical driving tips mocking reckless motorists and speeding culture - **Comic dialogues**: Including an exchange between Harold and his mother about being hit by a bus versus tearing his pants (dark humor about transportation dangers), and an office boy whose athletic brother actually runs a pawnshop (ironic commentary on fake credentials) - **"Funny Bones" section**: Visual gags about diplomats and poison - **Tax Collector cartoon**: A father warning a suitor he cannot support his daughter on reported salary—likely satirizing income tax evasion or under-reporting The overall tone reflects **early 20th-century urban anxieties** about modern transportation, health, employment, and social climbing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
blows. up upon the discovery. “Lally” is so long drawn out that by the time the middle of the sec- ond act arrives the audience is exhausted. “Off Key” goes about its venerable business with more alacrity, but the materials it deals with are too familiar to sustain the chronic theatergoer’s interest. Nor do “Sinner,” by Thompson Buchanan, or “Fog,” by John Willard, add anything to the glory of the season. The first named is a belated disquisition on the topic of free love and is as outdated in method and manner as Bernarr Macfadden’s hair-cut. The leading réles are in the hands of Alan Dinehart and Claiborne Foster. The second named is a mystery farce played as if the world were coming to an end at eleven o’clock. Its materials are cobwebbed. Motorgrams Never put off till tomorrow the joyride you can have today. The man who hesitates is run over. In the pursuit of happiness we are all likely to exceed the speed limit. There is no use locking the garage door after the car has been taken out for a joyride. The fellow with the old car is lucky if he runs into nothing but debt. It is considered all right to blow your horn, provided it is attached to a high-speed car. Don’t count your chickens if you live near a highroad! —Lonpon Opinion SRS Harold — Which would be worse, for me to be run over by a ‘bus or tram, or tear my knickers? Mother—Why, to be run over by a ’bus, of course. Harold—That’s good. I’ve just torn my knickers. —Passinc SHow SX Office boy—My brother has a gold medal for running five miles, an’ one for ten miles; a silver medal for swimming; two cups for wrestling, an’ badges for box- ing an’ rowing! “He must be athlete.” “He’s no athlete at all. He keeps a pawnshop.” —Goop Harvware a wonderful “‘Not quite bright’’— HE SCORNS PROTECTION Clothing and exercise may keep you warm, but they can’t pro- tect your throat. Its delicate lining, so susceptible to cold, dust and germs, needs sure, safe protection. Smith Brothers’ cough drops safely protect and gently medi- cate the throat tissues. They quickly soothe irritation, relieve hoarseness, ease and stop the cough. Your whole throat is cooled, cleared, refreshed. You're protected. “The cheapest health insurance in the world” SMITH BROT COUGH DROPS 5c S-Bs or Menthol A diplomat is a person who pourt banana oil on troubled waters, Poison girls together. Tax Corrector (to young man who has asked for daughter’s hand)—Young man, how can you possibly keep my daughter on the salary which you return? —Lonvon Optnxton comicbooks.com