Judge — January 1, 1927 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

An Age-old Mystery CAN’? understand it. She had always loved antiques and in fact the collection of junk had become quite an obsession. In the evenings I was forced to sit on a gnarled, ugly, torturous chair that iginally graced the cabin of Cap- tain Miles Standish. The only light on my evening newspaper emanated from a sputtering coal-oil lantern that once hung in the stateroom of John Paul Jones. Our only recrea- tion was music from a crumbling pianoforte originally played by Martha Washington. Dinner was announced each evening by means of Aerial traffic violator receives a summons. a thunderous gong which in its in- fancy had graced the Oriental dwell- ing of Confucious. When I walked across the room I would invariably catch my foot in one of the many gaping holes in a rug that had only partially withstood the heavy tread of poleon Bonaparte. Dinner was served in crockery that once adorned the festal board of Lord Cornwallis. Apart from a creaking table that once served Benjamin Franklin, the only adornment in our dining-room was a cabinet, guaran- teed to be Duncan Phyfe’s first effort. One would never deny the truth of that guarante But, as I said to begin with, I can’t understand it. I bought her a hat last week that looked like a beauty to me. Her keen eye perceived that it was of last season’s vintage. When I gave it to her she cracked me over the head with a rolling-pin that had once rolled out pie dough for the gourmandic edification of King Alexander the Great. James L. Dilley ceey Every time our Congressman opens his mouth he steps on the gas. The “Howdak” town car is the last word in oriental luxury and splendor. comicbooks.com