Judge, 1926-12-11 · page 10 of 36
Judge — December 11, 1926 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page Analysis: Judge Magazine This page contains three satirical pieces: **"Righting An Old Wrong"** (top right) humorously "corrects" the Bluebeard legend based on supposed new archaeological translations. The satire defends Bluebeard as mild-mannered and merely defensive—he killed only five women (not seven or eleven) and surrendered for trial. The joke's twist: his wives' actual offenses (asking questions while he shaves, driving from the rear seat, stealing coat hangers, demanding golf outings, requiring reassurance about her permanent wave) justify his actions. This mocks both historical myth-making and contemporary marital complaints. **"The I'm Gonna Guy"** (bottom left) by Chet Johnson satirizes procrastination and empty promises. Poor Bill constantly says "I'm gonna" (save money, diet, ask for a raise) but never follows through—until his final "I'm gonna fix these brakes," which ironically precedes his fatal accident at a railroad crossing. The joke critiques habitual postponement with tragic irony. **"Hester-Hector" dialogue** (top left) is a brief joke about a guardian needing to start a hospital because he's an "alcoholic ward"—he drinks excessively.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE Hester—What d’ya mean, my guardian oughta start a hospital? a Hector—Well, he’s got an alcoholic ward to begin with! The I’m Gonna Guy oor old Bill was one of these “I’m gonna” boys. Just before each payday he'd say, “I’m gonna start saving money next week.” Then he'd borrow a five. “I’m gonna go on a diet pretty quick,” he’d confide. Then he'd order the starchiest foods on the menu. “T’m gonna ask the boss for a raise next week or quit.” But he stayed on when the rest of the gang was fired for refusing to take a cut. “T’m gonna get me a big six next month.” But he drove his old flivver until the end. The last definite word I had of Bill was at the inquest. Joe, the foreman at the garage, was the principal witness. Five minutes before losing the argument at the crossing, Joe testi- fied, Bill shouted, as he drove away from the garage: “Joe, I’m gonna drop in next week and have you fix these brakes.” Chet Johnson Righting An Old Wrong R light on the Bluebeard myth. According to returned archmologists, Bluebeard is a much wronged man. ENT translations shed a new “He was not, Flumph emph: the gory ogre hitherto depic On the contrary, he was a mild and amiable soul, fond of gardening, Sunday night picnics, and six-day bicycle races. He en- joyed the respect of his suburb, along with his wives, while they lasted. He merely had more courage than his neighbors. “To begin with, he killed only five women. Not seven, or eleven, as the rumor ran. And he early formed the habit of surrendering himself for trial. Court records of the day show that prompt acquittal followed the introduction of evidence that— Wife No. 1 was given to a questions when Mr. B. was shaving. No. 2 had a penchant for driving the chariot from the rear seat, Professor ing No. 3 usurped his coat hangers and left the top off the toothpaste] tube No. 4 insisted that he play golf with her, week-ends, and No. 5 demanded constant reassur- ance as to the state of her permanent Stanley Jones Santa follows the lead of other popular celebrities and just leaves autographed photos. comicbooks.com