Judge — November 6, 1926 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Life holds nothing more for me.” “Drained it to the dregs, already?” “Yep. Drank the last drop last night.” —Onto GREEN Goat Classified Ad College widow with six children would like to marry old grad with five and a football. —Oklahoma Whirlwind sae Freshmen may use the following to advantage for the rhetoric grammar test: You sce a beautiful girl walking down the street. She's singular, you are nominative. You walk across to her, changing to verbal, and then it becomes dative. If she is not objec- tive, you become plural. You walk home together. Her mother is accu- sative and you become imperative. You talk of the future, she changes to the objective, you kiss her and she becomes masculine. Her father be- comes present, things are tense, and you become a past participle. —Kansas Sour Owl Rad “Egad, me boy, what say toa game of hop scoteh?” “Be off, fool, no one ever got the jump on the Scotch.” Colgate Banter halal And he said, “Let there be light,” and light was made. And the next day came the gas bill. —Boston Beanpot Fae “And T owe it all to you, Grace,” said the I. C. S. man as he borrowed another $10 from his wife. Cincinnati Cynic Perhaps one of the most unusual, and surely destined to be one of the greatest athletes ever seen at Kansas University, is the new freshman discus thrower. He is not only said to throw the discus around 150 feet, but also runs down and catches the discus before it hits the ground. —Kansas Sour Oul A bright little girl who is suing her bobber for breach of promise because her permanent wave straightened out after six months. —Catirornia Wampus Rd The new Vodka song— “Vodkan I say, dear, after I say I'm sorry.” —M. 1. T. Voo Doo “T’'m from Walla Walla.” “T heard you the first time.” —M. I. T. Voo Doo 21 Hic—That must have been paint remover I drank last night? Cur—Howsat? “It took all the enamel off my teeth.” —Cairornia PELICAN Leggo There! “What did your grandfather say when they amputated his leg?” “He yelled, ‘Hey off here?’ ” what’s comin’ —Denison Flamingo sat First Year Ag—I like your girl's posture. Second Year Ag—So do 1. That's where I'm gonna keep my cows after we're married. Penn State Froth ae Little Algernon had a bad habit. He would always chew his finger nails. We asked the doctor, and the doc- tor told us to put something on the ends of his finger nails. We used arsenic. It worked beautifully. gernon doesn't ch Little Al- »w his finger nails any more. —I} sconsin Octopus son Captain (on excursion boat)—Does anyone here know how to pray? “I do,” replied a member of the party. “Well, you pray and the rest of us will put on life belts, we're one shy.” —Washington Cougars Paw tas First—Have any of your family connections ever been traced? Second—Yes, they traced an uncle of mine as far as Canada once. —Michigan Gargoyle comicbooks.com