Judge — November 6, 1926 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE HANDS OFF: MR. KIRETZER WARNED THE) CIRCASSIAN MAMMA IN. ANGRY TONES ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT We found this one ina shoe-shine parlor, so we had it dry-cleaned and here it is. Poor old Geebick had been hitting the flask for s eral hours before his marriage and when the time came for the ceremony he was pretty well fried. you come to the altar with a man in that condition 2” another hunk of candy ana replied: the bridesmaids titter. Ilow Love Came to a Ferryboat E day, when he was only a little Or took him aside 1 bunch of people nd broke a bottle of champagne over either his head or his tail (he didn’t know which, as he looked alike at both ends) and named him President Arthur. After that he used to ply back and forth between New York and Jersey. It was a dull life, but for the most part he was a contented little ferryboat; all he wanted was a handful of oats now and th on holic . with maybe a good cigar After the marriage the minister said to the bride: “How could The bride bit off “Say, fella, do you think I could hare got him to come here if he was sober?” This dry retort certainly made And then, one day. he saw the girl of his dreams. She was painted a swell red with blue stripes and she had a copper bottom and nice shiny She was moving right straight ard him and as she drew nearer he saw her name painted on both sides of her Little Rosie. Oh, how his heart pounded, you may Would she look at him? He whistled twice, but what was his he sure! chagrin when she swept scornfully by him without even a glance. As he made his way slowly over to Jersey there were tears in his eyes and he felt the water sink in his gauges. Oh, how he used to wait for the day when she would speak to him! But she, proud, untamed creature that never lifted her in- serutable eves from the other shore thy and miserable. he waited for her tos} And then, one night, in her woman's way, she eame to Lim. ‘There was a} He was dr she was, Y fog on the river. ting along aim lessly, his heart full of love and his boilers only half full of steam. Sud denly, without a word, she was in his arms and his timkers shook with pas- sion. In that first embrace all his Waiting forgotten. = Litth Rosie! Little Rosie!” he murmured brokenly; she was panting, her lips hungry: and in hand they moved into the dawn of a new day. was hand Perelman Success I ocaLLy acclaimed in her native 4 town for her sterling work in amateur theatricals, the girl went to New York determined to gain laurels and lucre there in her chosen pro: fession. “I shall shoot into promi nence without delay,” cried she to her intimates as the train wheezed away from Homeburg. A cynic upon the platform sneered. “Do tell!” sneered he. But the girl knew whereof she spoke. Three days after her arrival in the metropolis, she stormed her Way into a theatrical manager's office, asked for an engagement, was refused, pulled an automatic which she had hidden in her clothes—no small trick in these days—and_ then taking careful aim at his head, so as to shoot him in the foot, shot him in the hand. A month later, after her acquittal in court, the girl was given a profitable engagement by a rival theatrical manager who was putting on a big revue, Marion E. Burns “Oh-h! If I was only a wood- peck 4 i comicbooks.com