Judge — October 30, 1926 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE LEADERS -~, ee “Daddy, why is that man running up and down the smoking-car with his mouth open?” “My son, that is a Scotchman getting a free smoke.” —CouGate BANTER ste He—Pardon me, has your dress slipped off or am I seeing things? Ske—Both. —Amherst Lord Jeff POS “What's the matter, Al?” “T've paid so many bills that I'm fearfully in debt.” —Cornell Widow at “What is a roof garden?” their —Denison Flamingo “That’s where people sow wild oats.” “Does your son write any poetry?” “Well, most of his check stubs read, ‘Owed toa bird.” —Iowa Frivol the world go round and round, pop?” “Oscar, how many.times must I tell you to stay out of the cellar?” —Ruvtcers CHANTICLEER “Can you swim?” “T don't know.” “Why not?” “T always sink before I find out.” Vassar Vagabond Jimmie—It’s shaky business. Hugh—What is? “Playing with dic Michigan Gargoyle As hard-hearted Hannah said to the Prince of Wales, “Go on home, kid, and come back when you're king.” -M. 1. T. Voo Doo He—Do you think you could live on S40 a weel? SHe—Sure—but what will you do? Kansas Sour OWL Rey “What do they call her Dot for?” “She's alw ays trying to polka head in other's affairs.” Ohio State Sun Dial ae “T have just purchased a The- saurus.”” “You can’t fool me. mals have been ex years.” Those ani- inct for a million —Wisconsin Octopus FAS “Why doctor? “In the first lecture he cured half the class of insomnia.” —Texas Ranger do they call that Prof. a Mrs. Kiersscumitz—I say, Re becca, did you get your A. B. at Vassar in "98? Mrs. Sreimscumitz— No, him at Brooklyn two years later. Cauirornia PELICAN I got sat “Have you seen Albert lately?” “No. He died in the fall.” And how did he You don’t say. “He died in the spring.” “But you just said he died in the fall.” “Well, it was the fall that killed him, but he died in the spring.” “Oh” (unbelief). “It wouldn't have been so hard on his parents if he had died in the spring. “But you just said that he died in the spring.” “Yes, he did. been terrible.” “The fall?” light.) The fall must have (Thinks he see the “It was such a long fall. And to have the spring at the end of the fall might have saved his life if it had been deep enough. But he was dead, they say, before he ever reached the spring.” (Feeling now that nothing can help his poor suffering friend except sympathy.) “Won't you explain yourself? You say he died in the fall and then in the spring. You then said that it wouldn't have been so bad if he had died in the spring, but that the fall was so long that it killed him.” “Well, you see—he fell in the spring in the fall—and died.” —Purple Parrot comicbooks.com