Judge — August 14, 1926 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sg Rs A Comic Situation Bandit—Hands up! Money or your life! Victim—I guess you'll have to take my money. I’m subscribing to JupGE just at present. —Penn Punch Bowl Canal Judge—Why did you strike that man? Caught—He said that my wife is the ugliest woman in town. “Why, you’re not even married.” “I know, but I was fighting for the principle of the thing.” —Oklahoma Whirlwind tae First Burglar—What hit you, Bill? Second Burglar—A case of mis- taken identity. “How com “Woman waitin’ up for her hubby thought I was him when I crawlin’ in de winder dis mornin’!” —Toronto Goblin “Mabel, let's get married.” “It’s all right with me, but who will you marry?” —C. C. N. Y. Mercury Standing Pat In reading our histories, our atten- tion is invariably drawn to the fact that some time or other a certain Patrick Henry remarked to a group of compatriots: “Give me liberty or give me death.” The reports do not definitely state whether or not he got his divorce. —C ON. ¥. Mercury reece A famous college trio. —Iowa GREEN GaNnvDER The Outdoor Club of Charleston, S.C., starts on a hike to New York. —Srrvens Stone Mitt Interference Lawyer~-Why don’t you two settle this out of court? Client—That’s what we'd prefer to do, sir, but the police always stop us. —Notre Dame Juggler lad He—Do you know that famous elevator song? He~No, what is it? “O-tis me again.” —N.Y. Medley sae “My husband is very frank and plain spoken. He always calls a spade a spade.” “So is mine. But I can’t tell you what he sometimes calls his golf clubs.” Stanford Chaparral Tale Versus Talk Nurse (to mother in dispensary )— Do you use baby tale on your child? Mother (formerly a school-teacher) —No, indeed! We use only the very best English in talking to him. —Penn Punch Boul tae “That boy with the red cheeks reminds me of a poppy. “You're all wrong, he’s still single.” —Denison Flamingo Fae “Do you file your finger nails? “No, I just throw them away after T cut ’em off.” —Mickigan Gargoyle comicbooks.com