Judge — August 14, 1926 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Prudence Smith found she had to walk home from so many auto rides that now she wears a track suit. The Flight That Failed “"Puomas Percivan GREENE,” screamed a shrill feminine voice, “come here and clean up these ashes, and don’t let me catch you smoking in this house again.” Thomas Percival Greene, watery- eyed and slightly stoop-shouldered, strode up to the sharp-nosed wife of his bosom and in a voice quivering with rage, started his first and only revolution. “For eleven years,” he cried, “I’ve stood for your bossin’; I’ve listened to you yap at me from morning ‘till night and never said a word. I have to go outside to smoke my pipe and I have to come inside if you think I'm enjoying it. You're a nagging old she-devil and I'd never a married you if [hadn’t been drunk. But now I'm through, I’m through with you and your darned house and all other darn women. I’m going to the South Sea Islands; I’m going where men are men; I'm going to be free and I ain’t goin’ to have no darn woman a-hollerin’ at me. So good- by and bad luck to you,” and Thomas Percival Greene passed into the night leaving behind a speechless wife and a faint odor of none too good whisky. * * * On the long white beach of Pango Dango great white capped combers were rolling in. The island was heavy with the scent of tropical flowers. A FUNNYBOVES, Canada has her police mounted. Here we have ours stuffed. Oudge pays $5 for each one printed Solving the problem of the used car. QmveRD UNO ___ gorgeous yellow sun was sinking into the azure sea and from several thatched huts rose the strumming of guitars. “Tom Greene,” screamed a shrill native voice, “come yea an’ clean up dese ashes an’ doan’ lemme catch you smokin’ in dis year hut again.” Jack Shuttleworth Funny Definitions NE hundred per cent. American —A member of the Ku Klux Klan. Marriage—The eternal bond. College—A place of learning. Telephone—An_ instrument that facilitates communication. Time-table—A schedule of the time of arrival of trains. Police—A body of officers that pre- vents crime and enforces the law. Prison—A place of confinement for the punishment of lawbreakers. Volstead Law—A law prohibiting the sale and drinking of intoxicating liquors. America—The land of the free. Lawson Paynter Only Chance If a fellow wants to get in a word now and then after he’s married he ought to marry a woman who stutters. — comicbooks.com