Judge — July 31, 1926 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

’Way Down in Texas Dear Eprtor: Away down here in Texas, where the trees grow thorns, and the toads grow horns, we have Prohibition agents, real estate and insurance salesmen, corns, plums, other men’s wives, other wives’ husbands, taxes, a woman governor, a temperature of 110 degrees in the shade (on cool days), tourists, telephone operate rbers_ whe not tongue and most other inventions of the day and the ‘devil that contribute to man's delinquency, and the of life, not forgetting apartments, bosses and gh: ‘To add to and improve on the equipment nature has endowed our fine Sta day: life with, the writer owns perates a one-man drug store with hours and_ fail Perbs c nit? Ts pose : ncial back for a new ’ h as an automobile expedition to the North Pole, or perhaps an ex- pedition in search of a gunless man in Chicago (neither one et). To be Frank (you can be Ernest if you wish) even the drug. busines imate where you have to shake the scorpions out of the bed sheets upon retiring, bas its ning features; for in stance, we handle magazines, and get to read Jevor weekly without a cent of subscription cost, and risking the possibility of causing you conceit we must admit that the Saturday Erening Post Number and the Advertising Number were the rotten eggs (that is hard to beat) Now as you have plenty of time, permit a sugges- tion, how "bout a Druggists or Doctors and Drug- sts Number? These hardworking pro- fessions that have ‘neve the butt of any humor (although I'll confess there have been some rotten alleged jokes on the subject). You could Publish some good, new ones, such as: Druggist—Doctor, who was that lady I seen you with last night? Doctor—That wasn't no lady, that was... . Hold on! Don't throw it in the basket ‘yet, think it over. Houston, Tex. Ray C. Haines UNHAND ME.FELLOW SAID. CORA STIFFLY’ You must imagine yourself outside a circus. Suddenly from within there comes a frightful uproar. “Why, what is that?” inquires a casual by- stander. “Only the two-headed boy fighting with himself over a piece of pie!” answers Michael Arian, who has just entered from the wings. That guy sure is a card. Fair Harvard Your scurrilous magazine, defiling all been handed down to us by our God- fearing forefathers, fell into my hands yesterday. Your cowardly attacks upon all that is most beautiful in our modern era—namely, the advances of the cl especially Methodism. and the actment of ‘the Prohibition Amendment, terribl i It would be well for W. M. H. to return to school and learn there what our dullest fourth: knows tity and invic of our Constitut it hopes for future peace and prosperity. ‘The sactitice of our boys, Iying in the poppy-cl fields of France, boys who gave ir all tor Demon racy, is bei made vain b un-Awerica fit to indulge hopes that ive long enough ; upon that coming generation, who will make firmer the foundation of 100 per cent. Ameri- canism. Steven McCray Harvard University, Cambridge, Mass. June 29, 1926, Attaboy! Dear Jcpor: Iam a “high school kid” and a conscientious reader of your ation. Aft reading your “Judge for Yourself” column in t July 10 issue, I arrived at the point where J c stand it any longer. Your magazine is perfect, and why you allow yourself to be censured by a bunch of flat hoops is beyond me. The first thing you know they'll kick because you haven't got a llework” page or “Kutouts for the Kiddies, Of all the magazines I have read, none but yours has the guts to out with an open censu an idiotic law. Believe me, I would open the of the incredulous if I could do it without hurting some good friends, ‘And just one more thing, these fussy birds that cel ibeir subscriptions, don’t worry about them —they're getting their copy at the corner news- stands, You can't break the Jupor habit. Sincerely, dale, Mass. Richard H. Dais 1926, In the Majority Literary Editor of Dear Sin Prohibition, from its advent up present date, as any bolder of a permit to deal in wholesale liquor could prove if he had nd would tell the truth under oath. The same thing with the bootleggers and moonshiners. 2. In my case, having held a wholesale license for about tw months or so, my lawyer would take the place of the “Magistrate,” who, practically belongs to the same on the first figure on the left of t could very well supply the n: 3. And, by the of both M y ruckman.’ you have the addresses id Mr. Hap Holler, of said cartoon, with my compliments, and assure them that, as long as these grafters are functioning, there will be no danger of repealing either the Eighteenth Amend- ment or the Volstead Act, no matter how hard Jevpor may knock at Prohibition, as these grafters, together with the moonshiners and the boot- Jeggers are in the majority. ‘ours very truly, A Flop, Says He Jenor Publishing Co. na reader of Jvpce for nearly a 0 equak asa : older of public thought and opinion you are a flop. Your editors and critics evidently belong to the intelligenzia who have constituted to themselves the privilege of panning anything and everything they don't like and in their way are just’as in- ant and narrow as the ones they ‘criticize. pur so-called editorials each week would lead one to believe that your only desire in life is to have the right to Gill up on booze. Why don’t you fight to repeal the narcotic law; it’s just just. to the snow peddlers as the Volstead law is to the bootleggers ‘There are a few of your readers who don’t under- y a criticisin of a play or movie should be preces ya new drink recipe, nor why the opinion should be accepted’ as the gospel truth and therefore the rest of us should not go to the show as this wise guy has decreed that it is rotten. (Talk about censorship.) Wake up and realize that New York is not the U. S. the readers of Jupar the whole population. Be a comic weekly and not a weakly comic. At your mercy, as you own a printing outfit. Sincerely, Amelia, O. J. H. Theis June 19, 1926, lh les GERMAN WAR GLASSES 8 powr $9.85 Postpaid For hunting, motoring, the races, ocean travel, bird and nature study, ete. We bare been fortunate in making new and permanent connections with one of the best German optical manufac * ‘German War his country Represonting a conserva ethcve nf Secordin Kray 1re-proof—40 m m. pupillary adjust and. accuracy. lass inapected, tested, and guaranteed in perfect ipped promptly. vostvaid. on receipt of check or money. epee tor GAG! Poative guarantee uf full cash refund Order your field glasses today. SWIFT & ANDERSON, Inc. SUCCESSORS TO. HENDERSON BROTHERS porters of field glasses in America 91 to 97 Federal § Boston, Mass. She wasn’t over twenty, but she knew her little book, And her manner was so innocently frank, That when she wanted something, she'd as- sume a certain look, And, really, he'd have gone and robbed a bank. 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