Judge — July 31, 1926 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE JupGe’s Question Box [ rar Mr. JupGe: I am a young man of six and forty years, well dressed, when, as and if, well groomed, well done and have a steady income, when I work. IT have always (most of the time) led a strict moral life though I still do take a little chewing gum sometimes but it don’t last more than a few My terrible secret, though, is this: I got dandruff. I know I shouldn't tell you all this but—oh, Jupce, you are so good and kind and under- standing. Sometimes it gets so bad Tean't hardly get up in the morning early. I have tried long walks, cucumbers, bathing in April, hors med mushrooms on and transatlantic trips, but nothing scems to satisfy me. Just Terribly Upset deouvres, cre toas You big, bad, darling boy: 1 know just how you feel, Upset. But I wonder if you are just to yourself. Anyway, I like your middle name terribly. You know dandruff is a rather complicated reversal of the posterior amphibium tubes with the neo-chronic lemonade glands. It is usually the result of playing checkers in a slow outfield or perhaps you have been sleeping with your head outside the covers. I suggest tryin parts raspberry jelly and a few more of any old keepsakes you may have lying around the house. If this doesn’t cure you, you might try keeping your hat on all the time. To Don Q: Don’t worry, old man. A girl who will do them sorts of things isn’t worth thinking about. You were perfectly justified in waik- ing home. JupcE RS.W. poultice of two HOT WEATHER HINTS The portable bethtub for shopping on blistering days. “HOT MAMMAS “Oh, mamma, the water is awfully cold. Please come on in and warm mewn lon MADE USEFUL How to Combat Mosquitoes H ANG the walls of your home with so-called “art studies” of nude women, then donning the divers out- fit that every well equipped home should have, sit in perfect comfort. The mosquitoes will bite the pictures by mistake. Put on a putty nose and a pair of gauze wings and run around your room bu Mosquitoes have no tendencies toward cannibalism. Live in the middle of a swamp. As anyone knows who timein the country “th spent any mosquitoes are not from around here, they come from! the swanip! two ails ‘away when the wind is West.” Do not play “Valencia” on the adio, alkulele, ‘phonograph; saxo- phone; piano or-what-liave you. ‘Te makes the mosquitoes raving mad, and you can’t blame them. On the other hand, it is most ad- visable to play “The Prisoner's Song,” there are some things even a mosquito can’t stand. They just roll over and die at the first notes of it. Carroll Local Color A WEEeREAD man was FarmerG os With knowledge by the pe And yet he cries most every day “T swan, gosh-ding, by he “Why do you use those silly words?” Tasked him with respect .... Said he, *We'vesummer boarders now “And they want dialect!” James « ‘anaker comicbooks.com