Judge — July 10, 1926 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

We wish to open the column this week with loud cries for help thousands of letters, well, fifteen or twenty anyway, have poured into this office and we haven't got room to print ’em all and some of ‘em contained darn good recipes! ... . This sudden torrent of mail I suspect is due toa hint I threw over the radio for contributions for the column and very foolishly offered a vanity case and a cigarette case to the lady and gentleman respectively who sent in the best “contrib” during the month I’m a man of my word and the offer still stands! ft “Anent your mention of Bow- doin,” writes W. A. M. of that college, “I am urged to remark that five hundred and fifty (550) men at Joe’s place, the élite of Maine’s farms and New England’s urban population, are all with you. We have cheered you from the start even when you had the audacity to challenge Profes- sor Nathan. And as for Yale, we never did care a lot for the men who came from the West to sing, ‘For God, for Country and for Yale.’ We think Harvard is quite damp, too, in fact we can’t hand a thing to any college but our own Bowdoin”... .. I'd die for dear old Bowdoin! oh While we're on the colleges, we are glad to announce that the Virginia Military Institute is also behind us, to say nothing of the University of Wisconsin . . . . . Wisconsin also crashed through with a beverage called “The Chile Bean” ..... 1 part Vermouth (probably French), 2 parts made with equal parts of Bourbon, Gordon Water and Brandy and a dash of Orange Bitters. .... . Give Wisconsin a hand, boys! JUDGE Here’s another from the Univer- sity of Indiana It hasn't a name so will call it “The Indiana Fizz!” glass of cracked ice, Gordon Water and Juice of a Lime. Take a bottle of Silver Spray (what- ever that is!) and holding the finger over the neck shake the bottle and then let the finger off just enough to let a fine stream siz into the glass... . sounds rather tricky. ff While we're on the subject of Prohibition, L. B. of Boston massa- cres me with a letter stating that the drink I claimed as original and labeled a “Judge, Jr.” was com- pounded long ago by Baldy Stuart at New Haven and christened a “Depth Charge” isn’t that life for you—one taste of fame and it’s snatched away again! fe Read two books last week ..... Stephen Leacock’'s ““Winnowed Wis dom” and “Sorrell and Son” by Warwick Deeping . . . . can’t hand the first one much . . . . have always had a feeling that Professor Lea- cock’s famous sense of humor was false and that he was just a little bit ashamed of his medium .... . “Sor- rell and Son” is a mighty fine book. fe The Night Club proprietors have held a meeting and have decided that they need a new name for their palaces of pleasure, that the word Night Club sounds bad, and really doesn’t mean anything. .. . . Well, why not call ’em “Pay Stations” or “Gold Diggings,” or aw, you tell ’em! fh Speaking of Night Clubs, the Penny Arcades still seem to be get- ting their quota of “Steppers Went on an Arcade party the other night and they’re a lot of fun..... don’t forget to have your picture “took” in front of “Bud’s Gin Mill.” ae Ye , Our Sacred Institutions W ARE, of course, a compara- ively young nation, but it is high time that we were setting apart more days for the observance of Days, I mean, that will show our national spirit, such as Mother's Day, which has been set apart for the florists to quadruple their prices, and Father’s Day, which has been set apart for the tobaccon- ists to get rid of their stale Cabba- things sacred. geros. May I not, then, suggest that the following days be established for the benefit of the following merchants? Kiss-a-Stenographer Day — For divorce lawyers. Eat-a-Plate - of - Spaghetti Day- For vest cleaners Cross-a-Boulevard Day—For arti- ficial limb manufacturers. Watch-the-Garters Day—For eye doctors. Have-a-Collision Day—For auto- mobile repairers. Have-It-Taken-Out Day—For sur- geons. Shoot-a-Husband Day—For gun dealers. Kill-an-Umpire Day — For pop- bottle manufacturers. Call-a-Traffic-Cop-a-Liar_ Day For undertakers. Asia Kagowan Motorist’s Primer THE GAS MAN Is the gas man good at arith- metic? Yes, and the motorist knows that the gas man is good at arithmetic. How does the motorist know that the gas man is good at arithmetic? Because the motorist sees the gas man add “‘five” faster than his his meter can add “four.” = —__ comicbooks.com