Judge, 1926-07-10 · page 12 of 36
Judge — July 10, 1926 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Satire Analysis This page satirizes aspiring writers who include presumptuous personal letters with magazine submissions. The "How to Get Rejection Slips" article mocks writers who insult editors while pitching stories. The sample letters parody real magazines and their perceived weaknesses: - **Mercury** (H.L. Mencken's publication): Criticized for being too intellectual; the letter suggests it needs "jazzing up" - **Atlantic Monthly**: Accused of snobbish highbrow tastes; the letter references "Lowell's and Cabots" (Boston Brahmin families) - **Yale Review/Saint Nicholas**: Mocked for being prudish; the letters offer inappropriate content (dope menace article for children's magazine) - **Punch** (British humor magazine): Insulted as needing basic explanations for jokes The joke is that including condescending personal critiques guarantees rejection. The editor's note at bottom—stating an article arrived without an accompanying letter—reinforces this satirical advice by treating it as an editorial mistake, completing the circular joke.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
How to Get Rejection Slips RITERS, do you want a good collection of rejection slips? Of course you do, After all, there is nothing like being turned down by all the better magazines. It stimu- lates the ambition. But in a care- less moment almost anyorie is apt to get something accepted. The only safe method is to send your editor a personal letter with every contribution. Here are some samples that would assure Shakespeare him- self of acquiring an Al collection of rejection slips: For the Mercury Dear MENCKEN: Your sheet needs jazzing up. Here's a thrilling Wild West story where the hero makes a million and then settles down to a life of ease and culture in Hollywood—also a pretty girl portrait for the cover. You'll never make that magazine pay unless you get some modern ideas. Truly yours, P.S.: Give my regards to the dear old Watch and Ward. For the Atlantic Monthly Dear Eprtor: How’s tricks? I suppose you birds. want highbrow stuff so I’m sending you a poem that will give the Lowell's and the Cabots something to think about. Your little magazine shows promise. Has “Abie’s Irish Rose” got to Boston yet? So long, Suggestion to Sunday rotogravure editors—Why not vary the bathing girl pictures with an occasional vhotograph of a group of outdoor dancers? For the Yale Renew GENTLEMEN: (no sarcasm intended): Just to be unselfish I'm going to let you have this article entitled: “The Decadence at New Haven” for nothing if you're not able to pay for it. Yours truly, P.S.: 100 bucks to 50 that Harvard licks Yale next fall. For Saint Nicholas Dear Sirs: Here’s a piece on the dope menace that I feel your young readers ought to see. No use allowing children to shut their eyes to such things. I might do you a night life sketch if I get around to it. Be good, For Punch GENTLEMEN: I hate to give all my stuff exclu- sively to America so I’m giving you a few things I scribbled off hastily for you to feature. Be sure and get a good artist to illustrate them. You will notice that these jokes are fully explained. Need I say why? P.S.: Who won the Revolution? The great advantage of these letters is that you can send in any- thing with them. You can’t lose! P.C,. [Eprtor’s Nore: This got in by “Er—ahere’s the Marriage License Bureau, Buddy?” - ; mistake. The author forgot to send “H’m—do you insist?” i a letter with it.] comicbooks.com