Judge — June 5, 1926 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “TI told your sister that I love her, and we are going to be married this summer.” “July?” “No, I didn’t. I really love her.” —OKLAHOMA WHIRLWIND Beezness Iss Beezness y for you're in a hurry?” Said the father to his son, “Dot you take two steps at oncet . Up de stairs instead of vun?” “Vy, to safe shoe leathers, poppa,” $ ather looked askance. “Vell, be careful,” said his poppa, “Dat you dovnot split de pants.” —Oklahoma Whirlwind Dick—I’m through with Betty. She's been tried and found wanting. Bos—That sounds like a girl. What did she want this time? —Yate Recorp Cs She was only a typesetter’s daugh- ter, but she knew her P’s and Q’s. —Cincinnata Cynic sae “Can you imagine anyone going to bed with their shoes on?” “Who does that?” “My horse.” —Rutgers Chanticleer Berry—I'd rather you wouldn'’t— Wu1y—Avw, please; just one! “But what will mother say if—?” “If I take just one, your mother'll never know—" “Oh, yes, she will: cigarettes counted.” —Jouns Hopkins Buack AND Buve Jay she has all her tae The movie producers of to-day seem to have taken Shakespeare’s advice about “‘All’s Well That Ends Well.” —Notre Dame Juggler PIs First—Will you have these books bound in Russia or in Morocco, sir? Second—Oh, don’t bother with that. Have ‘em bound right here in town. —Stanford Chaparral ve CHEER LRG “What did the fortune-teller say, Bett She told me that I would marry a good looking blonde.” “She’s crazy. I haven't enough money for us to become engaged!” —Ohio State Sun Dial sae “T—1—2— B—4—got—10,” the maiden, with a sigh. 1—T—please—4—get me? O—Y—O—Y—O—Y? E—said E—did— love me, N—now—I—1—2—cry; I—1—2—B—4— got—10, N—left—L—own—2—die.” —Lehigh Burr ey The absent-minded professor is practicing medicine. The other day he left a notice on his door that he would return at half-past two, went out, and upon returning at two o'clock sat down and waited for himself. —Gettysburg Cannon Baul “The cowboys in Texas don’t catch steers on horseback any more.” “And why don’t they?” “Because steers don’t ride horse- back.” —CauirorniA Peiican comicbooks.com