Judge — May 8, 1926 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Why Jeeves! (Continued from page 8) omnipresent servant hastened to his master. “This water tests about seventy-five degrees Fahrenheit,” complained Lord Slotherington. ‘Don’t you know by this time, Jeeves, that all stage-and-story-book Englishmen take ice cold plunges before breakfast? Run to the housekeeper and fetch me some ice so that I can live up to the literary tradition. “TI gotcha, bo,” answered Jeeves. ‘This here dumb Dora of a second-story cham- bermaid forgets to introduce the chilled aqua into the fur-lined tub. That wench is a fourteen carat moron—” “Perfectly shocking Jeeves, shocking!” splattered Lord Slotherington, “my an- cestors—oh, my ancestors!” A guilty flush suffused Jeeves’s closely shaved jowls. “Oh, master,” begged, “my juxtaposition to Mister Sam Hell- ’s stories a number of times ’as got me speakin’ in ’is idiom. Hi ham sorry, yout lordship, but hi can’t ’elp meself if hi talk a bit o’ Yankee slang. Yo see, ah don always know ef ah’m sho ’nough gwine to talk English, dan which ah don’ do nothin’ else but in dese yere Jeeves stories, so I sez to myself, Jake, yer under- un’, don’t be a schnorrer of a butler all pr life. Get it a business where enyho a man can get a piece of herring or ge fish onct in a while arrived at the conclusion hit’s : life your lord- ship, to be a bone-headed sap of a butle r and I thinks I'll grab me off a posish. . But there was no answer from Lord Slotherington. Only a few bubbles floated to the surface of the tub. All was still. The disgrace had been too much for his lordship. Jeeves without an English ac- cent! Better eternal forgetfulness! Jeeves contaminated by the polyglot (Continued on page 29) Send 10c in stamps for story of how I developed iny muscles 50% by shak- ing cocktails for week-end guests. Alois P. Wrongfort, Xenia, Mo. | THE SATURDAY EVENING POST NUMBER Ute | Time to Change to “Featherweight” Oxfords OR real foot comfort this Spring and Summer, step out of your heavy, winterweight shoes into a pair of these smart Tan “Featherweight” Oxfords. You'll find they're as cool and easy on your feet as a straw hat on your head. While this model carries alightweight sole, it has unusual wearing qualities. These shoes will give extra wear with- out extra weight, just as economies resulting from Douglas methods of manufacturing for 120 Douglas-owned stores and 6,000 Douglas dealers assure you a saving of several dollars on the price per pair. OF JUDGE A new “Featherweight” in Tony-Gold Light Tan Calfskin. W.L.DOUGLAS SHOES FOR MEN ALL GOOD VALUES *6 70 °8 Read what Farrell P. Knoob eo Farrell P. Knoob sells anvils and bedti out in Jersey. “The anvil and bedti trade,” says Mr. Knoob, “‘is hellish.” In addi- tion to all this, Mr. Knoob plays the musical saw and is learning to read English. Yet Mr. Knoob found time to sell tickets to ABIE’S IRISH ROSE! poo Clip the coupon and get our interesting booklet on Zebra Farming and What It Means to You. Name Street... City... . + | | | | | | 4 Is Your Snare Time Worth $500.00 An Hour? HOW ABOUT YOU? Do you know what mi pretty designs on the w’ dowpanes in winter? A: you nervous, uncanny, drunk, suspicious of bur- glars?