Judge — March 27, 1926 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Applause Card For the Funniest Contri- bution of 1926 Dear JupGE: 1 think the picture in this issue Entitled . By. And the Text in this issue Entitled. BY... ccc cceee Should be entered in the Contest for the Funni-st Contribution of 1926. (Name) (Address) 5006300560049 (Week of Mar At the en! of the year, the artist and the writer whose contribution receives the jargest number of votes, will eacts receive a $500 Prize. VOTE YOUR FAVORITE! Better Than a Windshield Wiper —Clear Vision Through the En- tire Windshield. Bae ah . iialvect "fee bert malta ronrantse. STANDARD SALES CO. attibnis foun. Manvufacturers and Distributors Automotive Products “POPULAR RADIO is without question the best radio magazine” You will understand when you see it how very interesting and valuable it is to every owner of a radio receiving set and to every one considering the building or the purchase of a set She—It was really a toss up this morning whether I played golf or went to church. He—Really? “Yes, and I had to toss up fifteen times before I got golf.” Pardon My Guff! HATE two-fisted men; I loathe the double-barreled greeters— folks who come at one with both hands extended and loaded with a jawful of ready questions; in par- ticular, I have long feared, abom- inated, and connived against—Hiram Jonathan Moxie. You know the kind of a red- corpuscular cutup, who, whenever he meetssyou, grips you as if you were a Coney Island testing machine for frolicsome longshoremen, while at the same time he rapid- brisk salutatory catechism: well—old beezer, old squeezer— how are you? And where have you been keeping yourself? And how are all the folks? The little woman? And Aunt Mamie? And all your brothers and sisters? And your double first cousin once re- moved, Anna Marie? And Uncle Ignatius? And how is your dear mother?” And, oh, he invari- ably asks, though this is generally his first. question—How are. tricks? Such a one was Moxie. Every two weeks or so there would be London Mail He looked us straight in the eye, and we felt guilty. He pumped our hands for us, and we felt feeble. He asked windily for all our rela- tives, and we felt. inadequate. Of course, one could say, and one usually did say, in a voice meek as barley water: “We're all all right; and how are all your folks But such a reply was no bugle call to battle, not even a bagpipe chal- lenge skirl; it sounded like nothing more nor less than a vers libre swan song without the music. Feeling myself after each of these brushes sinking into a state of general debility, long had I planned between us a casual meeting and greeting; but always he won. Bigger and heartier he waxed each time I saw him, a vampire growing great on the energy which he wrung from the helpless fingertips of those he clutched — unaware—swelling with s, Acne ‘on the face or body, Barbers Itch, Eczema, Pores and Oily or Shiny Skin. it today for way PRE BOOKLET, FREE “6 Gczartoxs Stu." toting how cured myself after being afflicted 15 years. E.S.GIVENS, 224 Chemical Bidg., Kansas City,Mo, A PERFECT NOSE “You say you're a lover of peace, : 5 Genuine. Note Support ir > ear BEFORE] AFTER Mauuad superiority at every fresh experience of the influency of those he greeted. What anemic simpletons we who passed the time of day with him must have seemed to this gusty windbag! and then you go and throw a brick at C. : sir—an’ “e was wery peace- ful, too, after I throwed it.” —Humorist comicbooks.com