Judge — March 27, 1926 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uP tf The first headwaitress. —Prrr PantHER Flaming Youth “Please, mister, give me a shot of gin?” “Good grief, youth, pretty soon you'll be asking me for cigarettes.” —Brown Jug Chanel Prof.—When was George Wash- ington born? Stude—February 22, 1732, A.D. “Now what does A.D. mean?” “Why, after dark, I suppose.” , —Texas Ranger “Ma is so cross-eyed that the tears roll down her back.” “That's all right, the doctor’s treat- ing her for bacteria.” —C. C. N. Y. Mercury Either Tenor Five First Director—I'm up a tree. Can’t you lend me a tenor for to- night? Second Director—Sorry. All T have is a five spot. —Kentucky Satyr “I never knew rain drops could smoke.” “Well, it so happens that they can’t.” “That's funny. Only a few minutes ago I saw them in hail.” —N. Y. Mepiey Sse Believe me, if all those cosmetical - charms Which I gaze on so sweetly to-night, Were to fade by to-morrow and flee from my sight, I'd know— that you'd washed your face! —S._ California Wampus Canal Lady—Your father thinks a lot of your new brother, doesn’t he? Bobbie—Y eh, gets up in the middle of the night to take the darn kid fora walk! —wWest Point Pointer FAMOUS LAST WORDS I didn’t know they were loaded. —Wiurams Purrte Cow sae “You remind me of Moses.” “How come?” “Every time you open your mouth the bull rushes.” —Colgate Banter Fae He—Isn't that your father I hear? She—Yes. He's collecting mate- rial for a book on embarrassing situa- tions. —Ohio State Sun Dial rd “Ts she so dumb?” “Well, last night she asked the or- chestra to play the other side of ‘Collegiate.’ ” —Wisconsin Octopus “What is the difference between a stenographer and a confidential secre- tary?” “You don’t dare fire a confidential secretary.”” —MICHIGAN GARGOYLE comicbooks.com