Judge — March 20, 1926 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hes now owned the same umbrella for the past fourteen years, it is high time the curious public should be apprised of why I have managed to hang on to this venerable bumbashoot for so long. The reason is simple. Any absent- minded person who grabs my rain- catcher from a vestibule rack, can- not help but know within a moment that it is my umbrella, or—still better—that it is not his umbrella. This is due to its excellent unique internal arrangement. My umbrella does not shed rain and at first; but it receives rain, takes it from an open top into its long barrel- like rod until full; whereupon the cap of the stick automatically closes and the normal shedding process is begun. Once inside a house, I park my umbrella, and grasping the lower handle firmly, snap on the water pistol catch, which only the owner may touch with immunity. Then I go down to dinner, eat with a hearty appetite, and, at the coffee and cakes, watch with relish an early departure on his way to the vestibule. In fancy I follow him, into the hall and over to the umbrella rack, where absent-mindedly he grasps at the handle of my rain-choked boomerang. OW for the fun! | Now for the thrills! N Now for the joyous times you've missed all these months! Here’s your big chance to learn the peppy, zippy Charles- ton that has set Society awhirling! Right in your own home without music or partner you can now master this thrilling new dance —quiekly, easily, confidently! Learn in One Evening No expensive fees—no waste of time—no spectators to embarrass you! You learn at home thru an amazing, simplified home- study method invented by Arthur Murray, the famous dancing instructor to New York’s “400.” It’s the very same Charles- ton course for which hundreds of debutantes $10 a lesson at his Yet now you can learn almost overnight—the same thrilling move- ments for just fraction of the original cost! Whirlwind Popularity Don't be a wallow will never win ne ni mere" a party! 5 an way I. versatile Tt will dis, Joyous good times, whirl- Darcnur Mui 7 East 43d St the p Let Arthur Murray [ lutery y ecelve return of my deposit FREE lesson ¢ Act Now! French When complete course $1.95. (plus pos id of 5 ah 4. Don't Arthur Murray New York City urse Sent Free with Charl Tango—the hit This famous course of Paris arrives dep Try th 52 LESSON COURSE Former Price, $10.00 Even If you don't know one step from another s marvelous course will teach you 10 dani ‘with to jeston, Course ill be instantly mail the $1, 7 coupon st 43d Street «Studio 631 New York City Snap! The cap of the umbrella flops back. Swish! Aditein A column of water rushes ¢ in seloeamplete PONY csr serenesssaneneeesnesn at aM ainsenees out and hits him in the eye. In a trice he is dripping wet, and absolutely certain that this is not his umbrella; thus tacitly placing his 0. K. on the excellence of my in- vention. The reader will of course realize that to be effective, there must be only one of such a device. However, there is nothing to prevent him from contriving, for his personal use, something similar in the way of a dagger umbrella, bludgeon umbrella, bomb throwing umbrella, infernal machine umbrella, mantrap umbrella, sock-on-the-nose umbrella, or bust- in-the-jaw umbrella. If he can de- vise any or all of these contraptions, he is welcome to them. This in- ventor will continue to stick to his old favorite, the water pistol, of which—by the way—he holds the exclusive patent rights in all coun- tries including the Scandinavian. Cyril B. ot ogan One magistrate said to another, “That prisoner put up a very good fight the other day, didn’t he “No wonder,” replied the second; “he’s got the courage of his twenty- one convictions.” —Tit-Bits A Vise Boer ay, LOVE London Mail comicbooks.com