Judge — February 13, 1926 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

If Colleges Advertised ome to Flunkville, the all-year vacation land, Largest foot- ball stadium in the north southeast. Excellent golf course. Dancing, pet- ting and cutting classes are the major sports. No trouble to win your letter. Motoring, tennis, boating and studying may be enjoyed or in- dulged in, as the case may be. Very few professors to annoy you, just enough to lend an intellectual atmos- phere. We don't rely on our stu- dents to do that. Are You One of the Four ? Statistics, and even some reliable sources, tell us that four out of five have not had the advantages of a college education. This is your only chance to get out of that doomed quartet. Look at your danger line, ive. the line you are stringing to your girls and see if it is adequate and efficient. If not, mail the coupon below. Get your education in the 1,000- window unive Think of it, 1,000 windows to look out of while the prof is explaining a problem. No more craning of ne Business men will be your serv- ices when they hear that you have a 1,000-window education. Quantity did it! Now we are able to give you our 1926 model at the lowest price for which it has ever sold. This model is guaranteed to last four years, but with the co- “Why all the rush?” “T gotta be on time to-day: operation of the faculty may last much longer. We do not produce an annual model. Ours are never out of date and never out of dates. Plus sizes, full sized balloon trousers, gin absorbers and extra parking facilities are now included as stand- ard equipment, with proficienc: the Charleston optional at no extra cost. Our students are satisfied. They come back, in fact some of them have been coming back for six years and will keep on coming if we don’t give them a degree. Fifty per cent. we're calling @ strike.” of last year’s graduating class have positions in their fathers’ offices. You can do the same if you have a father and he has an office and doesn’t care much about it. What Great Men Say of This Institution: “The receipts of the football games are to be greatly admired.”—Jack Dempsey, in Needlecraft. “You birds certainly turn out a nifty lot of Follies patrons.”—Will Rogers, in The Dial. “It appears to me that the funda- mental principle of the psycho- physical process by which your course has been evolved is initiated by a sense-impression that is peculiar to your type.”—Jackie Coogan, in the Atlantic Monthly. well way “I am pleased with the economical you are running your institution.”—President Cool- idge, in True Story. “I like the materials your young men are wearing.”—The Prince of Wales, in Punch. “I enjoyed your annual chapel service.” —Bishop Manning, in Ring. Don’t ask dad—he knows. 99 44/100 per cent. loafing. What a whale of a difference just a few years will make. Don’t ask the man who has one. It’s the cuts in your course that count. A. F. Dill comicbooks.com