Judge — December 19, 1925 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $$SssFFFsFsFFSFFsFF$FSHEE SHE Gs THE PRIZE WINNERS IN THE FIRST PRIZE POEM $ $ “WORST POETRY IN AMERICA” CONTEST $ To a Beer Bottle Wes it’s twilight on Gowanus Creek And Thursday in Japan, I drink in every word you speak And so does your old man! Salami is not half so sweet— T have to laugh out loud; Pastrami io more seems a treat WINNER OF THE FIRST PRIZE Rill Phosa, Williamsville, N.Y. FOURTH PRIZE Written by Gustave Glootz, elevator starter and husband. Dawn REATHES there a man with soul so dead? Shoot, if you must, this old bobbed head. Whose heart hath ne’er within him burned As four nice aces he has turned. FIFTH PRIZE Written by Anesthesia Blake, auth- or of “From the Heart of a Lettuce,” “Moonlight and Moonshine” and three other volumes of poetry. Life REED, swaying in the breeze, Wounded moon, tremulous— Pan piping and rustles of thistle And two poached eggs on toast. The plaintive cry of the whoozis; Ah, my love, ’tis me— The age-old cry of the herring As it smokes in the factory. —That spells mother. $$$ hes he $ And smoking ain’t allowed. SECOND PRIZE POEM The Frog’s Lament °’M BLUE since you went away; The moon above, love, ain’t gay. We'll croon and spoon, I’m blue for you. “She may be your sister,” the judge said, “too—” *Twas chilly so Willy said, “kerchoo!” THIRD PRIZE WINNER Betty Blah ( five years old) of Plainfield, N. J. THIRD PRIZE The Mutability of Literature O» From the slopes of China, Or maybe Asia Minor Or possibly from “India’s sunny plain”— Or maybe from Savannah, Chicago or Havana Or—who can tell—it may just be Fort Wayne? Oh, did it come from Iceland, That frigid, rigid nice land— Or possibly.from distant Montreal? In April or September— Or possibly December? It’s funny but I simply can’t recall! WINNER OF THE SECOND PRIZE J. Whuffleshirth of Green- wich Viliage, N. Y. SIXTH PRIZE The judges were compelled to award this prize to three thousand contestants, all of whom submitted the following original verse: AuGH and the world laughs with you— Snore and you sleep alone— For a flask of gin will let you in Where Volstead is unknown. HONORABLE MENTION Honorable mention should be given to some ambitious contestants, who, though they couldn’t win “The Worst Poetry in America” contest should, nevertheless, keep on, as their work shows great prom- ise. They are: Rudyard Kipling, Robert Service, Eddie Guest, Walt Mason, Will Shakespeare, Ed. Allen Poe, Eugene Field, Henry W. Long- fellow, Ralph W. Emerson and a few others. Keep it up, boys! “Cyrano $$ Sheesh hHHGSE SE $$ HE HS FS 16 comicbooks.com