Judge — December 12, 1925 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Awaiting His Fate He was seated in her parlor, And he said unto the light, “Either you or I, old chappy, Will be turned down this night.” —Penn Punch Bowl Ae “How does it feel to be marrying an heiress?” “Great! ery time I kiss her I feel as if I were clipping the coupon off a government bond.” —Pitt Panther Canad Sweetheart, I'd waft you to a golden field, where the blue forget-me- not Would be for you a pillow; and throughout the golden day I'd sing you songs of olden love in Italy, but what would People say? —Washington Dirge Prota—Don’t you hate crowds? Donna—Do I? At the last foot- ball game I fainted and had to wall: three miles before I could fall down. —Onto Starr Sun Dian “The trouble with our younger generation,” say about four thou- sand of our recent magazine articles, “is that they smoke, drink, and pet too much.” “Hell, that pleasure.” isn't trouble—'tis . —Centre Colonel “What did you say to the landlord ahen he came to dispossess you?” “*Re-lease me, villain!” —C. C. N. Y. Mercury sae “A little bird told me what kind of a lawyer your father. was. “What did the bird say?” “Cheep, cheep.” “Well, a duck told me what kind of a doctor your,gid man was.” —Cornell Widow PAD Flip—My uncle has addressed half the people in the United States. Flap—He must be a wonderful orator. “Oh, no, he mails catalogs for Sears-Roebuck.”” —Alabama-Rammer Jammer ered Don—I think that fellow has de- signs on Dottie. Lou—What is he-a tattooer? —Notre Dame Juggler “Why can’t you clean a suit with two pairs of pants?” “You gotta use carbona.” —Carneaie Puprer Hae “Do you ever take souvenir spoons from hotels?” “Not so’s you could notice it.” —Columbia Jester sae Al—Harry’s a pretty sick man from eating something. Pal—Croquette? “No, I think he'll pull through.” —Lafayette Lyre as “The early bird catches hell,” he said, as he mounted the stairs carry- ing his shoes. —S. California Wampus sas Son—Father, what is a débutante? Dad—aA débutante, son, is a young, unmarried girl whose father has money. —Boston Bean Pot Sse Fenny—Why does Lou let every man she goes with kiss her? With Fenny—She compares it to buying a suit—says you always try several on before you keep one! —Alabama Rammer Jammer eal Elle—Do you ever read Wilde? Dora—Oh, no, I have a regular program. —Notre Dame Juggler comicbooks.com