Judge — November 28, 1925 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Notice to Judge Contributors fo} MANUSCRIETS. will be g tur less accompanied stamped and addressed return envelope, and owing to the thousands of coneerions. sent into this office each week, it impossible to Garin poe rsonal correspondence regard- for FUNNY- as they will duplication, the first one received will be accepted. For t attention address Haeec eon: seas envelopes, to the { ing departments: Manuscripts—Literary Editor of Juvce, Funn: Funnybone Editor of Jupce, Epilaughs—Epilaugh Editor of |UDGE, Crossword Puzzles — Crossword Puzzle Editor of Juoce Lizzie Labels—Lizzie Label Edi- tor of Jupce. 627 West 43d Street, New York City Always insist upon having Tonic Appetizer B ITT ERS for 52 Years RD C.Wikben & Coe Bale Ma, PISO’S Jorcoughs Quick Rebtel -Apleagy effective syrup 60¢ sizes Andover uly, use PISO'S Throat and Chest Salve. 35c JUDGE 627 West 43d Street, New York, N.Y. I want JupcE for myself. I have checked below the offer I accept. Herewich. is $1.00 (check, cash, money-order) for 10 Iwona? ‘of Jupce. pet find $5. B90 ek. money-orde: ir) for one Grelth Cue? to JUDGE. For Yourself The End of a Perfect Day HE MAN—Alice, may I pre- sent you this trifling necklace as a token of my esteem on the tenth anniversary of our wedding? The Woman—John, you are so thoughtful. You never forget any- thing. (They kiss.) The Man—And what do you say to going out to a little dinner to- night? The Woman—Lovely. And that reminds me. Who do you think called me up to-day? Jack Atwood. He wants me to dine with him to- morrow. I think he’s just the dear- est man. The Man—Yes. He is a prince. The women are so fond of him. Well, I don’t blame them what with that wonderful glossy black hair and his twirled moustache. You're going, of course. The Woman—Well, I'd rather stay home and read with you. (They kiss). The Man—And I'd like to have you, but you must be nice to Jack. The Woman—Well, if you insist. It’s good we're going out to-night, by the way, because our cook and both maids have left. The Man—Well, bless my soul. Lucky we can easily get others isn’t it? The Woman—Isn’t it, though? And John, I got five or six new dresses to-day. They’re just too lovely. The Man—Splendid. I'd almost forgotten to tell you I lost my job to-day, but I can pay for them by borrowing a little money. ’ —Humorist 26 \ Diner—Waiter, bring this lady a hassock, will you? New Waiter—Yessir; how will she have it cooked? —Sketch The Woman—You'll love them, I'm sure. John, I did the funniest thing to-day—gave your new dress suit away by mistake. The Man—Ha! Ha! Ha! That's a@ good one! You are a scream! (They kiss.) The Woman—Isn’t it wonderful to think we've lived together ten years without a single quarrel. The Man—Wonderful! (They kiss.) The Director—Now, let’s rehearse this over again! We gotta get this scene down better’n that if “It Might Have Been” is going to stay on Broadway more’n two weeks! Pana Cummings PAS It is fashionable in America to get married at 7 a.m. In most cases, the bridegrooms are aroused an hour earlier, partake of a hearty breakfast, joke with their guards, and proceed on their short journey with unfalter- ing steps. —London Opinion Expensive Lessons “T’m getting up a little poker game, Major,” invited the friend. “Would you like to join us?” “Sir, I do not play poker.” “T’m sorry. I was under the im- pression that you did.” “I was once under that impression myself, sir.” |—American Legion PID A London householder hit a bur- glar with a telephone _ receiver. There’s a use for everything. comicbooks.com ee a