Judge — November 7, 1925 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Signs I Expect to See in Paris aris Welcomes Industries. Ex- cellent Schools, Cabarets. We Hold Up the World’s Stockings— Home of the Paris Garter. This Beautiful Art Museum, This Handsome Hotel and This Railway Station Were All Built with Plaster of Paris. ‘Phone Seine 345 for Prices. If You Want Something to Die Well, By All Means Use the New Paris Green. If You Want Some- thing to Dye Well, Use It Also. Paris Sites for Parasites. Just the Thing for American Millionaires. Also Paris Sights for the Tourist Trade. See Paris by Night. Call Louvre 123 and Ask for Pierre’s Taxi in Armand’s Garage. Hugh Wood Paris Paris is a garter, Paris is a green, Paris is a parter ‘The world I’ve never seen. PID Most of New York’s famous places have been closed. It is only the in- famous places which are still wide open. Figure It Out The people on the fourth floor drank the hooch, but it was those on the third floor who hit the ceiling. How an American feels when he returns from Paris! To Mere Man On Hearing the Latest Fashion Fiat from Paris Ov fellow—who've tried all your life (As I have), unsung, To be a true pal to the wife; To prattle her tongue; Whom “teddy-bears,” “knicks” and “bandeaux” And ‘step-ins” and “cams,” Have baffled to fury—our woes Are over! The lambs Have lumped the lot: “brassiere,” “girdle” and “panties”; And call them just—“scanties!” Gardner Rea \ fi \ \ PUTTING OUT THE CAT A la “La Vie Parisienne.” Ta-la orn Gertrude and Beth I have bidden good-by, I’ve said au revoir to Marie, And ’Nita and Carmen have heard adios; They’ve all had their last look at me. To Ellen and Mary I’ve made my farewell, To Dottie I’ve said toodle-oo, To Hilda and Gretchen ’twas auf wiedersehen; I've tipped them all off that ’'m through. I cannot be bothered with so many girls, I've shut them all out of my life; It’s too much annoyance, when they call me up, To tell who it was to my wife. Carroll -Clever—no end! Ye editor of this weekly of won- drous wit informed me last week that this was to be zee Parisien Numbair, so being a conscientious lad I went to the Parisien for dinner, took in “Gay Paree” and then went to Phil Baker's “Rue de la Paix.” As Miss Barrymore would say, “C'est tout; il n’y a plus.” —p— Add new expressions: “He's a soft drink.” Our “Ear to the Ground” Department informs us this means a person with no “kick.” =— os Suppose you've seen those signs on the backs of cars that say “If you can read this you’re too damn close!” The girlies have them now in the form of little gold pins. I thought the idea was so good I talked the governor into making a JupGE cover out of it. fh The Six Best “Steppers”: “My Own”—(Merry Merry). “It Must Be Love” —(Merry Merry) “Who”’—(Sunny). “Here in Your Arms’’—(Dearest Enemy). “Bye and Bye”—(Dearest Enemy). “Fond of You”—(Captain Jinks). Gry comicbooks.com