Judge — October 10, 1925 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Hey! Get that ol’ can off th’ road!” Hysterical Facts vt was house-cleaning time in the Newton homestead and all day Mr. Newton had been absent. “I distinctly told him about beat- ing the carpets,” muttered Mrs. Newton, “and I'll bet at this very moment that bum inventor is down at the ‘White Horse’ inventing a new story about why he couldn't come home.” Three hours @er a wabbly tread on the front porch informed Mrs. Newton that her wandering joy had returned, “Ts ’’ she shrilled from the top of the stat “Come here!” “Now, m’dear,” cooed Isaac, “not a word, All day long I’ve been busier than a one-legged man in a Charleston contest, and what do you think I’ve discovered?” “That four out of five have pyorrhea,” came back his sarcas- tically bitter half. “Little woman,” said Sir Isaac. “I’ve discovered gravity,” and held aloft a badly smashed apple. “That,” said Mrs. Newton as she dropped the vacuum cleaner on his head, “is a lot of applesauce.” Jack Shuttleworth Another thing about strect widen- ing is that it gives the jay-walker a longer run for his money. Tudge wil pay $5 for each one printed Bisutous GeENnTLEMAN—Hang it! takesh all night! Who’s Zoo in Limerick A fashionable zebra named Rex Found a problem his mind to perplex When he read, “Checks to-day Are the thing. Stripes?—passé!” So he thereupon cashed in his checks. comicbooks.com