Judge — August 29, 1925 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a and likem fine. Maybe no damn good for busted jaw but Enrico like to see name in paper sure Much Obliged. Perlstein’s Peautiful Pants Positively without ‘em I wouldn’t know what to do. And if in a bath- ing suit you could see me you could know especially why many an em- barrassing situation they have saved me. When you would ever make his kind I would have my little Abie wear ’em, too, but not yet. Our best to the mamma. Heller's Hefty Helmets for Hurrying Hair The doctors all told me I inherited from my wife’s uncle a tendency to sudden spells of baldness, The Unpublished Testimonials worst of it was I could never tell when the attacks were coming on Or Why the Ad Men Have to and it caused me no end of embar- Write Their Own rassment, especially on rainy morn- O’Eastey’s East , u ings. Arte being demobilized fcllow- Finally, about the sixth grade in ing the Civil War I got a job Here lie some unassorted scraps grammar school, my mother told me on’ the ™ mubway' 'circiit\apesring ee dames MeSpeeder Diz. of Heller's Hefty Helmet for Hurry- papers from between the tracks. fe caught the 5.15 while he ing Hair, and it sure did. After Was driving his Twin Siz. a Thad been in the cavalry and wasn’t ni os wearing your helmet for only about TURN ABOUT Insomniac sheep trying to go to sleep by counting a picnic party, used to riding a horse so that the Oe six months my hair began coming long weary drives through mountain, ee pays Or COC Gn prea, out just dandy. Now it’s all out o’er valley and around dell in the hardy brush of the Bronx finally brought on a chronic condition of double hiccoughs. I shall never for- get those long Arctic nights with the aurora borealis playing at my feet some sad forgotten melody while the sweet songs of the lonely coyotes drifted in over the parched and burning sands of the Wabash. For nearly three years I couldn't read, write or play the piano until suddenly, in desperation and Okla- homa, I took to drinking half a cake of O'Eastey’s East with my evening prayers. Now the old bus looks just as good as new and everybody thinksI had it repainted. The joke is on them, though. I did. and I don’t need to worry any more. I'm bald for life. Richard S, Wallace Dad’s Dope Drops for Domestic Disorders Enrico get sore one day last mont” kicka da boss in da half holiday Boss bust Enrico in jaw for bigga : row concrete blockhouses. Enrico c be in bed two maybe tree weeks now THE TOURIST’S PARADISE taka Dese Dope Drops every day The Full-course-dinner Highway. _