Judge — August 15, 1925 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A COUPLE OF DAYTONIANS SUM IT UP “Do you think the trial did the town any good, Al?” “Wal, I think it proved conclusively that we are all descended from Morons.” DAYTON, IT IS TOO BAD by Don Herold ow that Dayton, Tenn., has had all that publicity, what is it going to do with it? I don’t ever want to go there, do you? Nobody from Dayton, visiting in any other town, will ever want to admit he is from Dayton, because it is now ranked as one of this country’s comedy towns, like Brooklyn, Hobo- ken, and Kokomo. Dayton has no new ladder fac- tory, or wagon-jack factory, or ax handle factory, or crupper factory, to show for its efforts. Its population is right where it was, except that two of its best men have had to leave town, Scopes and that liberal minister who had to get out. I have not heard that any of the visitors fell in love with Dayton and decided to stay there forever. The schoolboard will have to go to the trouble of getting a new teacher to take Scopes’ place and that church will have to hire a new preacher (for practically nothing a year), and the population will be exactly as it was before Dayton became world in- famous. Dayton’s total gain consists of several wagon-loads of peanut shells, banana peelings, half-eaten hot-dog half soles, worn out palm leaf fans, picnic litter, and other sundry gar- bage, and a lot of stake holes in which Dayton’s small boys can stick their big toes this summer. Otherwise (Continued on page 28) “Well, at last I have everything packed—now where’s Mary?” Idiotorial HAT next! What next! Will the American public never stop quivering and groveling before im- ported fads? The crossword puzzle, introduced into America by the insid- ious propaganda of the Hagenback Zodlogical Garden in Germany to make their less popular animals more in demand was mild compared to this new and greater menace which threatens the very sanctity of our homes, our wives, mothers, sweet- hearts, spare tires and loudspeakers. While there is no proof that this new foible of a jazz crazed genera- tion is really an import from a foreign country it seems self-evident ipso facto, obvious, ex officio and delirium tremens that it is. Americans! Protect your civili- zation against this spreading craze for earthquakes. Young and old are falling for this new fad> It is wrecking some of our fairest cities. It seems hard to believe that in this enlightened day and age and under this benighted Republican administration such a condition could prevail. It is only the Ameri- can passion for extremes. A train wreck now and then may be frowned upon, but it is only the bubbling over of too eager youthful spirits, or youths too spiritful. But this earth- quake craze is rocking our very country. Carroll comicbooks.com