Judge — August 8, 1925 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ASK DAD—HE KNOWS What They Laughed at in the Good Old Days T. S. Sullivant in Judge, 1900. ; A RELIEF Mrs. Icrxotp—Do you drink rum? : Mr. Wituiam WaLker—Ah, wot a relief it is to listen to a sensible question like dat! All de society ladies I meet has such a monotonous way o’ sayin’, “Do you play golf?” “Have you met de prince?” “Are you off fer de Paris expersition?” DoI drink rum? Sure, lady. Have you a bottle on your hip? Race Prejudice Young Doctor Smith—A patient got very angry the other day because I advised him to take a Turkish bath. Mrs. Doctor Smith—I don’t see why anybody should get mad about that. “Well, this fellow was a Greek.” —Judge, 1901 Accomplished His Wish To be a big gun Was what he desired, So first he got loaded And then he was fired. —Judge, 1900 How He Knew “TI don’t think the whisky trust has much of a foothold in New York.” “Why not?” “Because every saloon I visit has the sign, ‘No Trust Here,’ over the bar.” —Judge, 1901 No Wonder Tady—If you are a lawyer by pro- oe fession, why must you beg? Zim in Judge, 1899. HIS REASON Lazy Larry—Well, ye sec, mum, Costican—Casey hozn’t drank: a dhrop since he took: out the “accident policy.” I’m an honest lawyer! Cassipy—Whoy? —Judge, 1902 “He sez he’s noticed thot it’s always sober men thot gits hurted.” comicbooks.com