Judge — August 1, 1925 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“You were awfully drunk last night, Al.” “Why, I only had one glass.” “One glass! Impossible!” “No, they kept filling it all the time.” —C. C. N. Y. Mercury Raed Newlywed—Just think, dear; we’ve been married twenty-four hours. Bridegroom—Yes, and it seems just like yesterday. —Princeton Tiger Mistaken Identity There once was a far-sighted Mr. Who called on his girl and he kr. When he turned up the light He found to his fright That it wasn’t his girl but her sr. —Wesleyan Wasp sae “Shine, mister?” “No, I’m just sunburned.” —Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern Puoory—Did he die a hor- rible death? Ucu—Yes; his floating kidney was inundated in a wave of emotion. —Yate REcorp Love and Marriage He was introduced to me and called me—‘Miss Mabel.” Half an hour later, he called me— “Mabul.” He took me out and called me— “Kid.” During our engagement, he called me—“Sweetie.” On our honeymoon, he called me— “Tootsums.”” Six months after the marriage, he called me—“Dear.” After five years, he calls me— “Hey, you!” —Brown Jug SuE (a sportswoman)—Some- thing ought to be done to conserve our wild life! He—I’d suggest repealing the Eighteenth Amendment. —Penn Puncu Bown Speed Auto races claim to be the fastest of all sports, but they sure wouldn’t have a chance to their record when stacked up against a strip-poker battle on the Fiji Isles. —Ohio State Sun Dial =Ca¥e CHEER LEADERS er Mr. Forp—Do you use tooth- paste? Mr. Fordson—Gracious no! None of my teeth are loose. —Wituiams Purrte Cow A Nightmare Ma—Did you dream that you were out riding with Bill last night? Sis—Yes. How did you guess it? “T saw you walking in your sleep.” —Pitt Panther Again the Scotch He—Dear, I don’t think I'll be home for dinner to-night. She—No? What will I do? “Tf I change my mind, I'll call you on the phone at six, but don’t answer, then I’ll get my nickel back.” —Cornell Widow PAH Fortune Teller—You have a ten- dency to let things slide. Young Man—Yes, I play the trom- bone. —Penn State Froth ‘Victor DYKES “TI sent a kiss to my girl over the phone last night and found that some one was on the line.” “What did you do?” “Told them it was a private exchange.” —Lepicn Burr comicbooks.com