Judge — August 1, 1925 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

At last lies Georgie Mitchell In a place where there's no fear Of his sending any postals Sa; fing “Wish that you were ere. ud AIM aba AAU ote art ‘pays $5 for each One crim et hg Win a Vacation AVE you decided yet where you are going to spend your vaca- tion? Have you decided yet where you are going to get the money with which to spend your vacation? Tf not, let us solve these perplexing problems for you. How would you like to spend a nice long vacation this summer at our expense? You can do it. derful plan. We are sending one hundred men away this summer as our guests. This includes money for souvenirs, railroad fares, board, room and bath, although the last named is optional. Our camp (and it is really nothing more) is situated on what we call a lake at the foot of what is known as a mountain. There are really accom- modations for only thirty-five, but we are sending one hundred, which is another illustration of our gener- Just read our won- The New Yorker gets lost in the wilderness. osity. If you are immune to ivy poisoning and are not over particular as to what or when you eat we guar- antee you a wonderful time. There are all kinds of amusements at the camp, including poker. If you do not know how to play, our instructor will show you how. We pay the gentleman no salary; in fact we charge him for the concession. For the benefit of those of our guests who cannot swim we have in- stalled grappling irons in our boat house. If we cannot recover a body we ship another in its place. An- other feature for the comfort of our guests is a sound-proof room for the segregation of ptomaine victims, thus assuring undisturbed slumber to the majority. “How can I win one of these vaca- tions?” you ask. That’s easy. Here is our proposition. You sell ten packages of our super- fine needles at ten cents per package. You send us the dollar together with the names and addresses of the cus- tomers. As our needles have no holes in them at all, practically all who try to thread them go blind. Sometimes three or four in a family. Our real business consists in selling tin cups, pencils and smoked glasses. The men whose lists show the greatest number of victims are awarded the vacations. R. C, O’Brien ASHES TO ASHES Hic jacet our Irish housemaid Who has gone the way all of us must. She may have returned to ashes But she never went back to dust. Perrect Burt.er (as airman crashes through skylight)— das basin 3 ut re MAb Cea, ’Er ladyship is not at ’ome. silee UG pays #5 for each one Pri Mt UCL comicbooks.com