Judge — July 11, 1925 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOLY SMOKE PERFECTOES = High Lights in the Lives of Famous Nonentities Herman Hotspel (1492-1601) ERMAN, as a little lad, was al- ways interested in rain, there- fore it was no surprise to his friends and dear ones that he eventually became rainfall measurer for the city of Los Angeles. However, he could not stand the strain in this city and moved his activities, duties, rubber boots and talents to Nome, Alaska, where he worked contentedly for a number of years (choose your own number). * However, such ability as Herman's could not be buried under a gallon. Ls “Isn't the country wonderful to-day, dear? CURED BY It was inevitable that he should be called to New York. On the day he landed in that city he won his right to a reigning place in the historical sun. It was pouring when he arrived at Grand Central station. Herman was practically in his element. If his umbrella had blown inside out he would have been completely in it. Also, it was very hot. One of the reception committee naturally asked, “Is it hot enough for you?” Here Herman rose to almost sublime heights. “Yes,” he answered, “but I think it is entirely the heat. I don’t think the humidity has any- thing to do with it.” Carroll I’ve never’ known the slogans so invigorating a is joining something or other. Here are a few suggestions for sum- mer joining: The Ancient Order of Picnic Litterers. The Stalwart Sons of Sunburn. ‘The United Forest Destroyers and Landscape Mutilators. The Half-witted Order of Rock the Boat! The Moron Motorists’ Order of Watch-my-dust! And— The Insipid Institution of Is-It- Hot-Enough-for-Yous? Cyrano Welcome, Brother! T SEEMS that everybody in America Sear WAS YOUR GREAT-GREAT GRANDFATHER A MONKEY? There’ll Be Many Strange Tails and Lots of Monkey Business in the EVOLUTION NUMBER JUDGE NEXT WEEK AT ALL NEWSSTANDS comicbooks.com