Judge — December 6, 1924 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

, Margaret, you'd stop living beyond our means to impress those Browns, simply because they live beyond their means to impress us.” Stories of Famous Records Spasms from “ Aida” (pronounced Aida’’) Rmvanes, Egyptian soldier of misfortune, is in love with Aida, daughter of Amonasro, King of Ethiopia, who reciprocates. (Aida does.) The girl and her old man have been captured by the Egyptians and brought before Pharaoh, King of Egypt, who is anxious to have them teach him to become proficient in the Ethiopian National Game, billiards. Then comes the great aria, “Celeste Aida,” which doesn’t seem to fit in with the scheme of things at all. When Amneris, Pharaoh’s daugh- ter, hears Rhadames sing, she be- comes discouraged. She tries to separate him from his beloved, Aida, by telling him that with his nerve he ought to be able to get an unlimited engagement in big time vaudeville. Amonasro overhears the conversa- tion and dissuades Rhadames from even considering the proposition by warning him of hostile audiences, especially in the cheaper seats. Amneris is disconsolate, as she had planned to accompany Rhadames on his tour (on the piano). She com- plains to her father who immediately orders that he be thrown into jail. At this point you have to turn over the record. Robert Cyril O Brien Funnybones / “A bad brake,” said the taxi driver as he bowled over the traffic cop. TFuadge will pay 85 for cach ore printed ) A Definition Censor—One who believes it is possible to sterilize literature with- out making it sterile. Carl No, Jessalyn, the words of the song, “Let the rest of the world go by,” were not written in a stalled auto. tae A doctor says that the increasing use of motor vehicles is tending to make us inactive. This will be news to pedestrians. funny bones , Some guys think they are the big guns of an office until they are ( fired. —“Tudge mil pay 85 for cach one printed * WANNA Unpublished Interviews The Ventriloquist's Dummy OWE my success,” said the ven- triloquist’s dummy, “to the clever manner in which I make the audience think it is the ventriloquist who does the talking. Really, it's gullible’ most people are. They'll see Joe Spivis he’s the guy I'm supporting now) smoke a cigarette or drink a glass of water, meanwhile apparently singing All the while little me is quite amusing how a song singing. “Half the gags we use in our act were thought up by me and many a night I have to put the boss to bed, dead drunk. Why, one night out in Des Moines, Ia.—but that’s another story. “T exercise morningand eveningand practice spitting every Tuesday. I'm married and the proud father of eight little dummies who will some day eight ventriloquists famous. I travel around the country in the bottom of a steamer trunk with the m ventriloquist’s shoes and a couple of half-empty Scotch bottles. All those classy dames that I talk about in the act are copped by the boss—the big stiff. reversible neck, but lost the money in a crap game near Buffalo, “Let me tell you, this life is no cinch, The big bum drinks wine and smokes on the stage, and all I get from him is a horselaugh and a crack on the jaw. If this keeps up, He promised to buy me a new I'm going back to the Punch and Arthur L. Lippmann Judy show. AT ARM’S LENGTH He—You know—TI could dance like this forever. Sue (very fed up)—Oh, but wouldn't you find it most frightfully lonely?