Judge — September 6, 1924 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

{P if The Youth’s Companion. —Brown Jug At the Concert “Why are you tying a knot in your handkerchief?” “So that I'll remember this tune when I get home.” —Columbia Jester PIs “Waiter, have you any shelled corn?” Waiter (surprised)—I think so, sir. “Then take this egg out and feed it!” —Mass. Aggie Squib AIH Billi—And how did you find the “wonderful woman”’? William—With the aid of two detec- tives. —Cornell Widow FAS Ed—Is Bill as forgetful as ever? Eddie—I'll say! Why, he has to look himself up in the directory when he gets ready to go home from classes. —Wisconsin Octopus SID He—Do you remember when we met in the revolving door? Bright Young Thing—Yes, that’s when we started going around together, wasn’t it? —Tenn. Mugwump VEC LENDERS. Certain on Some Points Teacher—Johnny, what is a boomerang? Joknny—1 can't describe it exactly, but I know it has a short tail and can climb trees. —Boston Transcript Pas “Well, I guess I’ve got no kick com- . ing,” remarked the man as he learned his bootlegger had been nabbed. —Hamilton Royal Gaboon PAS Conductor—I've been on this train seven years. Passenger—That so? Where did you get on’ —Yale Record PHS The only woman who really and truth- fully could say she got her gowns from Paris was Helen of Troy. —C. 0. N.Y. Mercury SIo Many brides have taken the names of their husbands in vain. —Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket PHS Battery Commander (to young Second Lieutenant who is reporting for duty)— And now, Smith, when it comes to reveille, we'll alternate on getting up and receiving the reports. I’ve done it for the last seven years, so you can do it for the next seven. —West Point Pointer e-L gv oD The Difference Burmese girls can’t enter society with- out ear plugs. American boys can’t enter without spark plugs. —Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket Pas “A fellow just told me I looked like you.” “Where is he? I'd like to knock his block off.” “T killed him.” —Notre Dame Juggler Pree “[’'m going to call my baby Charles,” said the author, “after Lamb, you know. He is such a dear little lamb. “Oh, I’d call him William Dean,” said the friend, “he Howells so much.” —Wisconsin Octopus Pao Miss Young—In Turkey a woman doesn’t know her husband until after she’s married him. Mrs. Wed—Why mention Turkey es- pecially? —Arizona Who Doo Pas “Jush had my wateh fikshed an’ it’sh shtill wrong.” “Why, wha’sh matter with it?” “Blame thing’sh pointin’ to noon, an’ it’sh midnight.” —Hamilton Royal Gaboon comicbooks.com