Judge — August 16, 1924 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Civilization? — Cornell Widow Toricelli, the man who first made a vacuum, was the only inventor who produced absolutely nothing and got credit for it. —Stevens Tech. Stone Jug Naturally! She—Where is the Pope’s summer home? He—By the Papal See. —Cornell Widow tae Student (to clerk in drug- store)—You needn’t look at that check so hard; it'll be back in a few days and then you can look at it as long as you want to. —Minn. Ski-u-mah tae “Hello, old top, new car?” “No, old car, new top.” —Wash. Cougar’s Paw “What’s the matter? Ain’t the razor taking holt?” “Yeh, it’s taking holt all right but it isn’t letting go again.” —Toronto Goblin Charles—Which do you think is the best acrobat, Houdini, or Donald Ogden Stuart’s hero, who mounted his horse and galloped off in all directions? Reade—Neither. What about Robinson Crusoe?’ It says here, “after he had finished his meal he lit up his pipe and sat.down on his chest.” —Virginia Reel PIS “You can’t hang a man with a wooden leg, didja know it?” “That so? How come?” “Have to use a rope.” —Wesleyan Wasp The Call to Arms. —De Pauw Yellow Crab Out where the buttons seem A little tighter; Out where the buckle shines A little brighter; Out where the girth becomes A little longer; Out where the straining seems A little stronger— That’s where the Vest begins! —Arizona Who Doo Fast Time! Geology Prof—Forty thousand years ago, geologically speaking, was but yesterday. Small Voice from Rear—Just a minute, professor, I want to cut my wisdom teeth and grow a beard. —Williams Purple Cow Still Life. —Yale Record Father—Young man, I understand you have made advances to my daughter. Young Man—Yes, sir. I wasn’t going to say anything about it, but now since you’ve mentioned it, I wish you could get her to pay me back. —NMinn. Ski-u-mah erg Arnold—Why do they put handles on both sides of a bouillon cup? Bennett—Sap! Don’t you suppose they have to provide for the left-handed guests too? —Virginia Reel tor Small Boy—Say, Pop, what is an echo? Pop (looking at Mrs. Pop)—An echo, my son, is the only thing that keeps a woman from having the last word. —Virginia Reel PAH “TI would face death for you.” “Why didn’t you face that bulldog then?” “He wasn’t dead.” —Wesleyan Wasp His Master’s Breath. —Michigan Gargoyle comicbooks.com