Judge — August 9, 1924 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Use Your Zoos Hs a German cornet player who suffered so much from stage fright that when he got on the platform he was totally unable to tootle. This was a great relief to the audience, but it was tough, very tough, on the artist. Then a bright idea. To Hagenbeck’s Zoo the corneteer goes yet, and says to the boss, “Boss, let me take my cornet in the lions’ living-room, and play them a few selections. If I can face the king of beasts the kind that go to concerts won’t worry me.” ‘Go ahead,” says the boss, “if it kills every lion I have.” The plan worked like a charm, and the corneteer has been taking it out on audiences ever since. Which goes to show that we don’t utilize our zoos as they might be utilized. Feeding peanuts to the monkeys is all right in its way, but what does it lead to? How many railroad presidents got their start that way? Very few. Suppose a young fellow is going to marry a nice girl, and they’re going to live with her mother and a couple of maiden aunts, Wouldn’t the change be less of a shock to the young man if, previous to the wedding, he roomed for a week in the parrot house? Or take the case of the young men fresh from college accepting positions in some great business house. It galls them to find the old man reluctant to change the house’s business methods in accord- ance with their suggestions. The old fogy! Then the boss gets peevish. All this would be avoided if the old man spent a month every year in the zoo with the wild ass. Use your zoos. The Presidential Race—They're off! Gosh, anyone that wants to be Presiten! must be off! Lirtie Stster—Now, look here, Hubert, if you don’t leave off this instant I'll way to disperse a crowd is to take up a give you to that ugly old man.” Baseman takes advantage of opposing player who owns an auto, Mental Flivvers Because knowledge is power is the reason why so many people get stalled on the road to success, A Periodical Poem The bobbed haired Beauty, has a past, Her Secrets no one knows, But I Confess she is a dream In all those Theater clothes. The American Boy asked her To a Motion Picture show, It was a good Live story From Real Life don’t you know. They met The Country Gentleman No Photoplay could budge, For he while being quite in Vogue, Was chuckling over JupcE! Lucia Trent. IIS A Hint to the Police—The quickest collection. comicbooks.com