Judge — August 9, 1924 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Statistics—If all the pedestrians were laid end to end, wouldn't the motorists have a circusl Wife—The cook is threatening to leave. Husband—I'll see if I can’t have a new policeman detailed for this beat. Try This on Your Piano Rock-a-by baby, don’t you cry, Or father will give you a sock in the eye. “Safety First” “Now then, fellows,” said a gallant captain, seeing that his men were likely to be outnumbered, “You have a tough battle before you. Fight like heroes till your powder’s gone—then run. I’m a little lame so I'll start now.” aad An open secret is the shortest distance between two girls. Pedestrians are people that kick about automobiles until they own one them- “T’'m very sorry to hear your wife is so ill, Benjamin. Not dangerous, I hope?” “Thank’ce, Miss, but she be too weak now to be dangerous.” The National Hero AvERY large crowd had gathered to welcome the hero on his home- coming. The station was surrounded by hundreds of motor cars from flivvers to rolls-ricers. Nifty bands were playing martial music and policemen clubbed happily at the front ranks of rope-side townsmen. At last the gates opened and a very thin, small gentleman with a sandy mustache and heavy lensed spectacles stepped forward to bow stiffly and lift his hat ever so gently. Then the mayor’s committee helped him into a limousine and he was whisked off to the largest hotel where a banquet had been arranged. Who was the little chap? What had he done, I asked the man nearest me. “He invented a salt shaker,” Brrne—Hello, Madge! Will you ask Helen to ask her husband to call Harry and ask said the citizen proudly, “that shakes him where he put his laundry? Then Helen can tell you and you can tell me. Harry salt in summer.” and I have quarreled. comicbooks.com