Judge — August 2, 1924 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

24: ST ley) Mga ba Short-sighted Individual (catching sight of his own reflection in the aquarium tank)—Vicious looking brute! Shouldn’t like to meet him if I were a diver! The Joke M2 was sweet and wholly charm- i ing But too haughty, that was clear; Susan’s ways were most disarming But she was so plain, poor dear! Prue could cook like my own mother, But she was a trifle stout; So it was with many another Girl I used to care about. Life has brought its every treasure But a loving look from Bess; T’ve succeeded in full measure, Save in winning her caress. Now I know my heart beats truly; Faults no longer I behold; Now I’m loving—courting duly, But young eyes smile: “You're too old.” PID Waiter—This money is no good, sir. Diner—Then we're even—your dinner was no good either. —Le Péle-Méle (Paris). —Passing Show (London). Her Past “T told you to come here and dust, and what do I find you doing—taking it easy in the most comfortable chair in the house! Do you think that I am going to play chambermaid?” “Didn’t you tell your husband at breakfast this morning that you felt ten years younger?” —Meggendorfer-Blitter (Munich). IID Theological Student—I had such a curious dream last night, Miss Potts- Point. I dreamed—er—I was in the Garden of Eden. “Oh, how exciting! And did Eve appear as she is generally represented?” “J—I—er—that is to say, I did not look.” —The Bulletin (Sydney). PAD “What is that noise—a loudspeaker?” “Yes, my husband.” —Meggendorfer-Blatter (Munich). 26 ie New Car Ars the road the hedgerows bloom Against the greenly grassy mead Where daisies gem the growing gloom— He chortles: “Gee, this bus has speed!” And, in quaint gardens that we pass, From trellises shy blossoms shower Old-fashioned fragrance on the grass— He changes gears—“Gee, she has The moon twines through the maple trees Its fragile fingers and the soul Of clover permeates the breeze— He tries the brakes: “Gee, some control.” I brush against him tenderly, My eyes as shining as a star— But he has not a thought for me, His mind is only on the car. Joun McCou. IID “So the Jones-Brown match is broken off, is it?” “Yes. The Browns objected to Jones being so economical.” “You astonish me.” “Yes. You know he is a contractor, so he sent out circulars to all the ministers in town asking for their lowest estimates for performing the ceremony.” —Tit-Bits (London). PIS “T want to tell. you a riddle, and you see if you can guess it.” “All right, go ahead.” “What is it that has four legs, a tail, and barks?” “A dog.” “Ah, I see, somebody’s told it to you.” * —Lustige Blatter (Berlin). PIS Lady—Are you sure these field glasses are high power? Ambitious Salesman—Madam, when you use these glasses anything less than ten miles away looks as if it is behind you! —Answers (London). Samson (absent-mindedly) —And when you've finished cutting my hair, give me a shampoo. —Le Rire (Paris). cn The deal of The . it to liv The; month in dail; “To way,” ago yo sent 1 “Ti band- He- She year’s on ne “y now.’ «N every say, be us comicbooks.com